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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/TWRaiel on 2023-09-26 19:39:45.

I (46M) got a voice mail from someone named Grace that sounded urgent. Grace knew my name and address.

I returned the call. It was my ex-wife’s (Cass 41F) estranged mother (Grace F). We’ve never met her or anyone on her side of the family.

When Cass was a teen, she got caught having sex with her boyfriend. Grace and stepdad went into overdrive. Cass’s next relationship was with a girl, and they kicked Cass out of the house. The ex-boyfriends’ parents took her in, she finished high school, went to college, graduated, and started a successful career. We divorced but have joint custody of our two children. I have our children most of the time, but that’s mostly about her work schedule, and we work together to get our children as much time with her as practical.

So, I’m on the phone with Grace, and she’s talking 100MPH. I finally get across to her that Cass doesn’t live here anymore, were divorced. She proceeds to insult Cass and me for that, but then realized that she’s asking me for a favor and gets off the soap box. I tell her that I won’t give her Cass’s number or address, but I would tell Cass that she called and if Cass wanted to call her back, she would.

Then she switches to the kids. She knows their names, but that’s it. She wants to meet them. I told her that I understood, but that would only happen if Cass agreed. She insulted me and my manhood for letting a woman own me like that. Lol. I start winding down and saying I’ll convey the message, but it’s up to Cass if she wants to call. Before I can hang up, Grace says that she’s sending me a package, and asks if I’ll give it to Cass. If Cass won’t take it, open it up and share it with “her grand babies”. I said no guarantees, it would all but up to what Cass wanted to do.

I texted Cass and asked if she would stop by so we could talk about something best talked about in person. If nothing else, I wanted her to hear the message.

I pour her a glass of wine and I tell her about the call.

Cass was surprised that her mom had reached out. She was sure it was something terrible about our kids or Jen and I were moving. But no. It was her mom. We talked around and around the event with her hoping to glean one bit of info that I might have left out.

And then she was pissed at me for taking the call, returning the call, and agreeing to accept the package. The fact that was a machine that took the call, that I didn’t know I was calling her mom when I returned the call, or even given my address or permission to send a package didn’t matter. I was the asshole.

She stormed off.

I sent her a text asking if she was OK and telling her that I hadn’t given Grace her contact details. I would simply ignore future calls (easy to do) and return the package when I got it, and for her to let me know if she wanted me to do anything else.

Apparently, I’m still the asshole.