This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Big-Dependent2366 on 2023-09-20 03:57:34.

---

I 26,f, have been with my Fiancé Jim for 5 years now. He has met my family, but has never been to their home. He has no idea what my parents do for work, nor has he ever really asked. I just said my parents owned their own fragrance business and left it at that. Growing up, my family was very well known in the community. They were very wealthy and powerful, and while that may sound like an ideal situation to be born in for most, it made my social life very difficult. Everyone I knew was sucking up to me because of my parents, or hated me because of them. It was hard to find genuine friends who didn’t care about my family’s status.

When I moved for college, I went across the country, and made sure to have a fresh start to conceal my connection to my family. I really wanted to be treated like a normal person for once. People just saw me as a nice and genuine friend who worked opposed to a girl who had everything handed to her just playing around. It was a wonderful experience and during this time I met Jim. I never hid anything or pretended, but I just left out details about my family because I really didn’t want that to change how he viewed me.

His family is upper middle class, father is a therapist, mother is a lawyer. His mother has always hated me, and insisted I was a gold digger because I must’ve “recognized his family name” (his family is well known in the college area, and were minor donors to the school) and clung to him to make him like me. Stating she could see through me and the “act I put on” ie, the love for my Fiancé.

I always denied this and kind of put up with it. Earlier this month I found out I am pregnant. I had no idea that I could even conceive so this was amazing news. We arranged a dinner as soon as possible to announce our pregnancy with our miracle baby. To keep it short, it did not go well. His mother in law accused me of “Baby trapping” him to gain access to their wealth, and that the baby was probably not even mine and why I am so quick to rush into marriage with him. She then went on to say that I come from a bloodline of drunks and wh/res who probably have to receive community assistance.

This is when I had had enough and dropped the bombshell that my family was actually the owners of x company, and I grew up in multimillion dollar homes, went to a prestigious private school, and was a part of certain societies / clubs. When she called me a liar, I pulled out my centurion black card and threw it on the table.

She then swapped to saying I was trying to deceive them so that I could get away with hoarding my family’s wealth to myself, get out of paying for things, inviting their family places, ect. His family said they would not support our marriage or attend the wedding.

He’s been different since, but understands why I did this and I’m hoping we can get over it. He asked me to apologize to his mother, stating she was not entirely wrong. But was she not? I don’t think anyone deserves an apology here.

++ He doesnt think shes in the right, he just wants me to try and smooth things over with her. He has always described her as a narcissist and I see it. Its more complex than just, him siding with her. I just don’t want to apologize and give in if its not deserved.