Had a date and we talked about things we like to do.
I mentioned that I had recently discovered that the local cinema chain offers classic movies, and that I had watched the original Jurassic Park, still fawning over it like the first time I watched it in 1993.
She said that the movie is a cute story, but “dinosaurs aren’t real. Fossils aren’t real. They’re props, placed by them.”
I nearly choked on my burger.
The date didn’t last long after.
Oh wow
I was at a techno party one night. I was off in my own world that night just enjoying the music but one girl kept pulling me into you little dance group in front of the dj. Never said a word during the dancing and afterwards tried to find her to talk but she had already disappeared. Fortunately she sent a friend to find me and her friend gave me her number. A week later we met up for a date.
We first met at a Korean restaurant. The food was amazing. Then we went to a nearby bar and talked some more. Then she asked if I wanted to check out a gay bar which usually has live music. Live music? Fuck yeah. We arrived before the music started so we got to talk some more.
Then the music started. It was… art. It was a couple. The guy was playing some very offbeat, experimental music. I won’t knock it, I’ve met people in the past who thoroughly enjoy that type of music and get genuine value out of it. I’m happy there is art that exists for them to enjoy. The girl who was the singer wasn’t singing as much as she was yelling into a microphone about why no one wants to have sex with her. Every song. Every sentence. The same topic. It was an experience…
My date and I joked about trauma bonding over the musical experience and left after a while. Luckily the rest of the night went well with the date so it was still a good night overall. I think I’m also pretty lucky that was the most what the fuck moment I’ve had while dating.
It’s a toss up.
The one that was an immediate hell no, mixed with the wtf and “is this motherfucker trolling me?” was back in maybe 96 or so.
It wasn’t a blind date, we’d run into each other at a gathering, and when our mutual friends suggested a date for us, it seemed like it was worth it.
We get to this place I suggested as being really casual, but really yummy food, for a dinner date. In the back and forth of setting it up, she wanted it to be very casual, shorts and sandals level of casual as an option, and the place fit that perfectly. What folks here in the south call a fish camp.
Anyway, we get there, sit down, and the waitress comes over and asks if we’re ready. This woman looks at the waitress, then at me and says she needs a few minutes.
Once the waitress leaves, she leans in and asks “did you know there were insert slur for black folks here working at this place?”.
I was flummoxed. Like, yeah, this is the south, some people are like that. But damn. How did nobody warn me the woman was like that? Or was she fucking with me.
So I asked her if she was fucking with me.
She said “not if you’re a reinsert slur lover.”
I said I was, and said she could feel free to fuck right off out the door. Which she did after causing a bit of a scene cussing at me.
The mutual friends claimed to not have known, and I believed them because they’re the sort to not notice little signs, someone would have to be blatant before they’d catch it.
The other one was a great date, but it was still a wtf moment.
Similarly, we had met through a friend, and had talked a few times. Now, I knew the lady through a friend that was into some kinky stuff, and knew that she was too. This wasn’t a problem, we had discussed that I’m almost vanilla, and she isn’t, so it might not end up going anywhere. That mutual friend, if you’re at one of his gatherings, chances are you’ll run into people that go to his other kind of gatherings that have plenty of lube and maybe some rope involved. But they’re all really nice people in general.
This, however, was the first time there was a vibe with someone. She was just cool. An artist, and an accountant, doing both professionally. She was into martial arts as a hobby, so not as deep into it as I was at the time, but deep enough we could talk and mess around with techniques. Similar music tastes, we liked the same kind of poetry and fiction. I’m saying that before she asked me out, we had talked a good bit at our friend’s place.
So, we get to the diner we’d picked. It doesn’t exist any more, but at the time it was the best hamburger you could get in three counties. We both loved the place already, so it seemed a good fit.
We eat, have a great time, and are sipping coffee as we chat.
She looks at me, dead in the eye and pulls out her dentures, swishes them in her water glass, and says “am I putting these back in, or am I sucking your dick in the car?”
She did not put them back in.
Did the loss of her teeth have an interesting story attached? I generally think of dating and dentures existing at opposite ends of the adult age spectrum, though of course there are exceptions.
Like, yeah, this is the south
into martial arts as a hobby, so not as deep into it as I was
Your username checks out :)
that “wtf” moment in the second story is what makes life great. sounds like a real catch and glad you had that experience
I agree :)
The way she handled it was just one reason she was so cool, but it was the one that made me really like her, as in seeking her out and wanting to spend time together.
She knew, and knows, that missing teeth are going to be a show stopper, no matter how you present it. Even the folks that don’t care, the discovery of it is a mental readjustment of a few seconds, and the people that are into it will shift gears in their own way.
So, once she could tell I was getting into her, she decided that she was into me too, and she said that that’s how she loves to sexually interact with a man first, why not just go for it?
Normally, she’d just tell someone rather than pull that amazing trick, but damn did it work. She read me perfectly lol.
It was a lovely, lucky day :)
And that, children, is how I met your mother.
Man, if I had been kinky enough, it might have been. She was just so damn awesome. But we just didn’t match enough in that way, or in a few life goals.
That is… amazing
It really was :)
She seriously thought she was a witch.
I’m probably cursed after ghosting her.
Aren’t Wiccans considered witches?
