When I was in my middle school I rode my bike in a circle for 7hrs. It was on a bet for a lizard. If I could do it my dad would have to buy my a bearded dragon. I got the dragon. I had that thang on me. But he passed away

Rode 190 kms on a unicycle one day.

I saw the entire original broadcast run of Clerks: The Animated Series. All both episodes.

Only six episodes were produced, and they eventually aired, but I did not find this out until years later. The internet ended a longstanding era where you could be aware of and interested in something, but know fuck-all about it, and have no sensible way of learning more. So I’d heard of Kevin Smith movies - but never seen any. Watching the Clerks movie would have taken a trip to a physical video-rental store, with my parents, and then convincing them (and myself) to rent a vulgar black-and-white movie for all of us to watch together. Wasn’t happening.

I was more likely to rent and watch any of the R-rated films that somehow got cartoon adaptations - which were part of that same impotent awareness. Robocop and Ghostbusters and fuckin’ Starship Troopers were advertised anywhere and everywhere, and kids liked the shallow cool parts in the trailers, so executives said “fuck it” and licensed no-budget G-rated spinoffs to sell toys.

Anyway. The Clerks animated series exists because Disney wanted an adult-ish show to compete with The Simpsons. Everyone did. Disney knew they had a gap in their demographics for twenty-something dorks with disposable income. Aaand then they handed the finished episodes to ABC, who used a focus group of old farts and children. Of course it bombed. The premiere was the fourth episode produced, which stuck the characters in a courtroom drama, and ended with a wacky consequence-free style change wherein the outsourced animators rebelled and delivered a lolrandom dance party. The second and final episode aired was a fake clip show full of flashbacks to episodes that did not exist.

At least Clone High got an entire season.

I managed to knock myself unconscious and give myself a pretty nice concussion during a particularly heated pillow fight at a summer camp. Pretty sure that’s about as unique a feat as I’ve managed thus far.

I’ve seen all our known planets with my own eyes, including Pluto. Not many can say that.

One time I farted on an airplane and wondered if any human had ever farted at those exact global coordinate besides me, does that count?

…i climbed onto the roof of the press box over kyle field and peed into the open air hundreds of feet below: it evaporated before hitting the ground…

What a coincidence, I was just at a Megalopolis watch party last night haha. There were like two dozen of us hatewatching it. True kino.

I might be the only American to have applied for a light sport flight instructor certificate on physical paper, and I believe I caused an update to the IACRA system.

For those unaware, IACRA is the system for applying for airman certificates online. Instead of mailing a paper 8710 to Washington you fill it out on one of the US government’s many shitass fuckchild web 0.8 websites. The FAA isn’t as bad as the FCC on that front but shew buddy.

I was applying for a light sport flight instructor certificate. One of the prerequisites for this is a credential in the Fundamentals of Instruction. Per the FARs, this can be:

• A passing score on an FAA FoI knowledge test (70 or better) within the last 24 months
• Holder of at least a Basic Ground Instructor certificate
• A state issued teacher’s certificate for grade 7 or higher, or
• A job as a college professor

I had taken and passed the FoI test, but the 24 month mark was rapidly approaching before I could arrange the practical test, so I took the BGI test (which is another knowledge test) flew to the FSDO in Greensboro, filled out a form, and one clammy government handshake later I was a ground instructor. Ground instructor certificates don’t expire so that effectively eliminated the time constraint on the FoI test result.

Checkride time approached, it was time to fill out the 8710…IACRA had no way of accepting a BGI certificate number as the FoI prerequisite. It was designed to only accept a LaserGrade test result, there wasn’t a way to use the other legal prerequisite types. So I had to print out a physical 8710 and mail it to Washington. Last I heard of the matter, my DPE let me know she had contacted somebody at the FAA about the matter, so teachers, professors and ground instructors should be able to correctly apply for a flight instructor certificate now.

I used to believe there were a ton of things that the universe decided to fuck me in particular. Turns out, it was autisim.

I used to think that all the times I had to survive drowning were unique, until I met my coworker who almost drowned to death in the same wavepool as me, despite us growing up in two seperate states a few hundred miles apart.

I still hope drowning three times is fairly uncommon, but at least one of those pools is just hella dangerous I guess.

Been in a plane crash.

It was a Beech 18 that experienced fuel starvation on climb out. The pilot raised the gear and belly landed it in a freshly tilled corn field off the end of the runway. It was a lot like being in a car accident, just lasted longer with a lot more rending metal noises. The port engine was ripped off and was sitting about 50 feet behind where the plane came to rest.

It wasn’t cool, believe me…

I fell out of an aeroplane with no parachute and lived.

Was sweeping the little Cessna out when i stepped back missed the step and went arse over head into the tarmac.

Not all at the same time:

• Broken both ankles at once
• Bitten by a snake, twice (two different snakes)
• In (temporary) remission from myeloma, an incurable blood cancer

I was on a plane that made an emergency landing. It was a lot less scary or exciting than it sounds. Our plane was leaking hydraulic fluid, so we diverted to a closer airport to land while the landing gear could still be lowered with hydraulics. The landing was uneventful, but I did get to see a flash of emergency vehicles with their lights on along the runway.