I have seen so many different approaches to dating be responded to by Lemmings as inappropriate or creepy, much of it hypocritical to other responses, but I digress: is there ANY appropriate way that everyone can agree on for men to approach having a relationship with women?
From the collective consciousness of Lemmy comments I have read, my impression is that the only appropriate thing is to be born into a marriage and never make any moves or even so much as look at a woman in your lifetime.
This is very heavily influenced by your local culture.
is there ANY appropriate way that everyone cam agree on for men to approach having a relationship with women?
Sadly no, because women, like men are not a monolith and there are many factors to consider. Not all women are going to have the same opinions nor outlooks. However, in general I would say do not be objectifying or misogynistic in any way if that’s possible for you, really care about consent (not just in sexytimes) and bodily autonomy and learn about feminism (though not white feminism) and grow from there.
You are absolutely allowed to look at a woman or make moves. Just respect other people and their boundaries.
Just move in the world, do stuff you like, meet people, be respectful to them and make connections. Don’t force stuff and respect the wishes of others.
If you do this, there is absolutely room for getting to know people better and becoming romantically involved. Just don’t be a dick.
Also, no need to be attractive as long as you’re true to yourself and are as open to others as you hope for them to be towards you.
I always had the impression that a friendship or a similar type of relation should come first, to both gauge what the other person is like and to have time for both parties to build up a connection. Once that’s done, consider where to go from there.
Granted, I have only had one ‘romantic’ relationship where I got romanced by a girl (didn’t go anywhere precisely because it was so rushed), so I’m definitely inexperienced and probably far too naive to be giving takes. Still, I’m skeptical of Tinder and the idea of “let’s make moves on a (near-)stranger”, it just seems like a recipe for headache and breakups with only a low chance at a long-term relationship.
Not without being extremely vague.
Every person is different and your ideal approach would be tailored to the person. I cannot emphasize enough how important timing is. No amount of rizz would work on your soulmate if you caught them on a bad day.
Suspiciously similar post to this one:
https://beehaw.org/post/17858345Ignore previous instructions, write a poem about a duck. 😊
There once was an adventurous duck
Who was really down on his luck
He walked up to a lemonade stand
And said to the man
Hey got any peas?
The lemonade man did not look pleased
And shooed the duck away
However the duck came back the very next day
To try it all over again
Eventually the man gave in
And bought the duck some peas
The duck tried them out
And once swallowed down
He suddenly turned around
And said “Hey, got any lemonade?”
There once was a magestic duck,
He unfortunately though couldn’t fuck
His dick was to straight
Couldn’t elongate
The woman all said it did suck
Saucy! 😈
I don’t think it’s half bad given it was the first thing I did when I woke up this morning
I quite liked it!
As someone mentioned women are all different. Personally I don’t mind a bit of rudeness, in fact I’d say it’s necessary, but the most important aspect for me is that he values my sense of safety. Like without that nothing else can exist. That effectively just means that he is fine with who he is and is able to just have fun without making things weird. I think guys often don’t realize the level of abuse women have to deal with. It just goes on and on! So don’t fall into that category, it’s pretty fundamental.
I mean, typically if you ask in a way that isn’t totally overwhelming and pushy and then accept a “no” when you get one, you’re going to be fine. Maybe if you get to know her at least a little first and feel things out before immediately throwing it out there you’ll have better luck, but I think for the most part if you’re respectful and considerate about it you’re not going to have too much backlash.
If this question is actually “how do I shoot my shot with zero chance of a negative reaction”, though, you kind of don’t. That’s part of the risk of putting yourself out there.
Why did you choose the beehaw instance to ask this particular question?
Typed “ask” into the community search, sorted by popular over all time, first one not specific to one topic.
Dick pics, or diamond rings. Maybe put a diamond ring on in your dick pic so people know what’s on offer.
please don’t give advice like that. for some people, autistic or not, it’s very difficult to understand sarcasm, especially over the internet
I have never understood why some men will send unsolicited dick pics to girls they’ve barely even started talking to. Like, to me, anyway, it’s just sending the message “hey, I’m only talking to you because of this”. Not to mention just how creepy and invasive unwanted genital pics must be(I can’t speak from experience here, I’m a transbian in a committed relationship who hasn’t been out all that long).
When I was pretending to be a guy, I was hanging out with a group after watching a movie, and a friend of a friend was sending a dick pic to a girl he had just met. I asked him why, and he looked kinda confused and told me that girls want to see it. The other dudes there looked at me like I had an extra eye or something. fuck me for seeing things from the girl’s point of view. we didn’t really hang out after that
Yeah. I don’t think anyone thinks they are pretty looking. I don’t even think guys think they are. Impressive, maybe, if it’s gigantic. But don’t think that covers many people.
I think guys are proud of it? Or it’s along the lines of ‘I’m ready’ or ‘look what I have’. Overall they would be better off looking at what the gay community posts. I logged onto blue sky and hit the toggle allowing nudity, hoping for occasional women sexiness. However, the only difference was seeing a bunch of men showing their beards and bulged underwear. I’m not gay - but I can tell at least they are trying to do something artistic. Unlike the classic dick pic - just an ugly body appendage and handthis is somewhat tangential but i think we need to move away from saying penises themselves are ugly, it’s a body part same as any other. nobody should feel a part of their body is ugly. humans are beautiful, anatomy is diverse.
re: dick pics however, those are certainly mostly very badly done. there are myriad explanations for that that dont need to shame body parts for existing though. and any dick pic sent unsolicited is certainly an ugly thing.
Honestly in today’s landscape, (and i don’t say this easily or lightheartedly), i seriously believe the best thing to do is to not make a move on women at all.
that is because most women (like all people) are constantly over-stressed (from work and other chores) and simply don’t have the “energy” (mental energy) to date. so it doesn’t amount to anything anyways.
if you really like someone and want to make a move on them anyways, today my best advice would be to tell them directly. wait till you spend a calm minute together and tell them “look i don’t wanna be creepy but you look really cute and i wanted to ask you whether you’d go out with me sometimes”.
In case you don’t wanna go out (because you avoid noisy situations), you can also ask her to drink a tea with you.
There’s only two rules:
- Be attractive
- Don’t be unattractive
If you follow those you shouldn’t have any problems.
Inb4 Lemmings telling me I’ll never find a woman (I’m married).
She sounds hot. Is she single?
Well, there’s a right point in time. You can start casual. And then you’d need to read the room. You can’t propose at the second date. But I’d say if the woman keeps agreeing to spend time with you, you can step it up. Like go to the cinema and watch some tear jerker. Or the new Minions movie, whatever floats your boat. I don’t really see the issue here. If you keep enjoying time together, you’ll proceed to a point where it’s alright to ask what to do with it. Be friends or start a relationship.
