The Canadian government warns that some US states have enacted laws that may affect LBGT people.
  • Tastysnack [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    10·
    1 year ago

    I’m guilty of using queer without considering who I’m talking to.

    When I talk to boomer gays and use queer as a catchall term I’ve seen visible recoil.

    To them queer was a slur similar to foxtrot-Oscar-gay-gay-oscar-triceratops (I can’t remember the phonetic alphabet) and was used to oppress and attack them at least in the UK.

    And like yeaaah, it was even when I was in school up until like 2010s so its not as reclaimed with the older generation as we’d like to hope because of lived experience from what I’ve seen which is fair.

    So as a result I don’t use it around older gay men and use the acronym since queer genuinely seems to bring back a lot of the 80s gay panic trauma for them I guess.

    I’d liken it to when a cis friend called me triceratops-rain-alpha-november-november-yacht as a in-joke he assumed i knew since he knows a fair few trans people who are reclaiming that term on twitter but for me that word is full of trauma and I was like “nope, I’m not in that community please don’t ever say that again”.

    I called him a chaser cos he has a trans gf and said it was reclaimed by friends of mine with trans gfs and he got the message why you can’t assume reclaimed words have the same gravity with each individual.

    I guess I see queer in a similar vein, I guess the difference is the time since it was reclaimed is the big difference.

    I don’t think we need a new umbrella term but I think it’s important for us to remember others experiences with reclaimed words before we assume them to be gospel (despite most gay publications I’ve seen using it fine).

    I dunno, I’m trying to be mature and empathic 😭😭😭

    • silent_water [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
      8·
      1 year ago

      yep totally fair. I mostly interact with younger trans people - a lot of the boomers are just straight up dead here because of how the government handled AIDS. so there isn’t the same kind of memory. like 40 is unfortunately the oldest I’ve met. it’s rage inducing to think about - I transitioned with literally zero wise elders around to provide guidance.

      • Tastysnack [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
        7·
        1 year ago

        I transitioned with literally zero wise elders around to provide guidance.

        Mood

        I have however had enough moments of speaking to older gays in our cities gay town and was asked to be aware of the history of that term and it deffo made me go “ah m’bad”.

      • Tastysnack [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
        5·
        1 year ago

        That’s really interesting, I guess my perspective is shaped by my material conditions niko-dunk

        Lmao but genuinely that’s really interesting. Admittedly this thread is the first time I’ve heard it’s not pecieved in the same way which says to me I’ve fallen for a British (but positioning itself as the “International community”) position so it’s given me some things to think about as hearing its being weaponised by reactionaries makes me feel the ick now.

      • Historical_General@lemm.ee
        1·
        1 year ago

        assimilationists

        I’m sure you’ll find them in the anglosphere too. I’ve seen a few threads of twitter. Possibly just Germans though, since they tend to have good English.