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Slight lean back
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Expression of baffled disgust
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Quietly: “The fuck?”
Cuts deep
If you’re especially non-confrontational, then even the first one, or 0 reaction, can do. Just don’t do the polite chuckle. They’ll think it landed.
I have to work really hard not to laugh myself, and instead let it be awkward.
yes. Relish the beautiful silence.
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You don’t need to be cisgender, heterosexual, male or white to call people out on their bigoted beliefs.
No, but bigoted, cisgendered, heterosexual white men are probably more likely to listen to other cisgendered heterosexual white men due to their bigotry.
Someone disagreeing within Chad Junior’s very narrow social circle will mean more to him than someone outside of the circle, especially if that person is also unlike Chad Junior in several ways. Unfortunate as it is.
In my experience that is almost never the case. They’ll just call you a liberal soyboy or something and never think on it further.
Definitely. It’s just an amplifier. Imagine a protestor saying “too many cops are violent and need to cool it”, as opposed to a cop saying “too many cops are violent and need to cool it”
Exactly. Also some of us have learned to fear pushing back against cishet men who are being aggressive. As a trans lesbian I’m not going to improve the situation with confrontation, I’ll just get shouted at, called a snowflake, or otherwise dismissed. But when say, my girlfriend’s husband, a very large extremely masculine cishet guy challenges it, it may not always go well, but it’s perceived as peer disapproval as opposed to “triggering the enemy”.
It’s like you missed the point entirely
“I won’t let you talk to them that way” is a bad one that doesn’t belong on this list. It implies you’re in control of them, which you’re not. It’s essentially a bluff, and if they call it, you need to be able to beat them up.
To add more good phrases to this list, the phrases need to imply that the person still has their own agency (because they do), and that it’s just a dipshit way to use that agency. The other phrases are great.
These comments, yeesh. I am a cis white dude, and I don’t see how this post is offensive. As I’ve gotten older and more self-confident, I absolutely call people out for their garbage opinions/statements. Being a cis/straight/white dude it happens all the time that somebody says something racist/sexist/homophobic in front of me assuming I’ll be sympathetic. I’ve used all these “scripts” and encourage you all to use them also.
This is the way
Do you hear yourself right now?
'Cause you’re spot on!
Yeah I’m not cis, het, or a dude, but I do this stuff when people assume I’ll join in racism. I’ll challenge that shit and attempt to help lead them to the truth
So Mexican dudes can’t say these things, eh? Only white dudes, and only if they’re straight?
You need to add ‘ese’ to the end of it.
Throw 3 or 4 ‘pendejo’ in there for good measure
The only Spanish I know is from Speedy Gonzalez, so is it ok if I just chuck “Andale! Andale! Arriba! Arriba! Yii-hah!” on the end there?
What a weird thing to say
That’s a disgusting opinion to have!
I had a Mexican friend back in college and we used to joke that if you put El in front of something, it became Spanish.
So he’d say something like, “Hey, do you want to get el pizza tonight?”
And I’d say, “Sorry, I don’t speak Spanish.”
(Although normally we’d do it as an inside joke when someone couldn’t understand him because of his accent.)
My ‘hey, you’re being a fuck stick’ detector doesn’t discriminate, despite what my stolen meme says
And only to men, because of course there aren’t any women who hate on trans people!
Middle-aged white men have a lot of privilege. It’s time we used it for good.
Is this white-saviour and/or patriarchial? Yup. Does it work? Also yup.
I don’t know if we all realize this, but some shitlord being told “What the fuck is wrong you?!” cuts deeper when it comes from someone who looks like their dad, granddad, or their boss.
I’m a 47-year old white guy in a leadership position in a large company. I’ve done exactly this to both young-millenial edgelord types who think I’m in on the joke, and boomer or elder-Xers who are yelling at clouds. I will tell you that, not only does it smack down the dipshit who thought that “lol rape” or “brown people bad” was funny, it also sets the tone for everyone else in the room, and it gets word around that bigotry isn’t acceptable.
Anyone can say this, but it hits harder when it’s someone privileged. Women, LGBTQ folk and other vulnerable groups don’t have this privilege, and get shut down, and if we don’t want that to be the case, we need to speak up for them.
Fuck yes. This is the entire point of the post. This is not my meme, but some turds are focusing in on ‘buh only WhItE mEn?!’. No. Not just white men. White women and children too, anikan. Anybody really.
You raise a very good point about our white male privilege and the lack of ‘stopping power’ less privileged groups have when challenging bigotry.
All of this also applies to women saying horrible things being called out by other women who they respect / think are part of their social group.
It’s only bigotry if it’s cishetwhitemen doing it, otherwise it’s just sparkling discrimination.
I’m not in the trenches of this particular culture war, so I don’t know shit, but I really do wonder why not phrase it as “people who want to be better allies” instead of targeting a single racial group and sexual orientation. Would feel more inclusive.
I think you got it. The op was probably fixating on the biggest impact that they can see, but that’s going to vary by community and who is reading this.
Also huge shocker, diverse groups of people also need to be mindful of this shit.
It’s the reason good “DEI” policies are important. If you just start hiring people from more diverse backgrounds (good) then have them land in a toxic work environment with 0 support (bad) then they’re not likely to thrive.
Didn’t know there were so many All Lives Matter people on here, Jesus Christ.
Yes. Didn’t you know that straight men are the root of all problems in the world?
“What the fuck” with a disgusted look is my go to.
Pfff. Everytime my father in law goes on a racist diatribe I tell him, “Mustafa is what now?”. He is my Egyptian brother in law and the kindest and hospitable person I know.
I also very dislike my father in law, used to be a somewhat good guy, then he got old and racist.
Chronic lead poisoning at an early age is a hell of a drug.
The “do you hear yourself right now?” is a good one, gonna use it well
I’m going to use all of these except the “I won’t let you” because that could trigger the right wing persecution complex, and/or sound like fighting words.
I want them to think normal people (not me tbh) are put off by their weird shit.
it also reminds me of the whiteknighting “alpha” cliche; “i will protect u, my princess”. maybe thats just me.
Even a simple “bruh” can help.
There’s one thing I really don’t understand. And this question has no agenda except that I would like to. Also if I use the word “he” inappropriately, please for the sake of the question let that slide…
Say a woman transitions to a man. He’s a man now, right? So why is it necessary that he be called trans and someone who was born a man be called cis? I mean if the goal is equality, and it should be, why should we know or care which is the case? And the same question goes for cis/trans women.
most of the times the difference between me and a cis man is not important, so i simply say i’m a man. Sometimes the difference is important, and then i clarify i’m a trans man
90% of the time and most people i meet will have no idea i’m transgender, the other 10 are doctors, people i want to have sex with, and those i’ve talked with about trans experiences
This is the correct way to do it
Using the cis/trans labels are good when the experiences are different in some important way or it’s worth pointing out for some reason. Often it’s just better to refer to both cis and trans men as just “men” and cis and trans women as just “women”. It depends on the context. These online forums tend to be rather political or tied to identity in a way that a lot of more real life conversations won’t be. The cis and trans labels can probably be left off more often in real life than you see them used here.
It’s just useful terminology. It comes up when it comes up.
I don’t spend much time calling my girl friends trans-her, if that’s what you’re asking.
good question! You used the correct pronoun. Even more correct: that man was Assigned Female At Birth. He was always a man. You’re right, the point is exactly that it shouldn’t matter, just like bi/homo/hetero, or nonbinary/female/male. But as long as rightists unfortunately make it matter, we need to talk about it.
Well I would assume trans-men are smarted and don’t really need another guy to tell them. But then trans people like Caitlyn Jenner exist and she is dumb as shit. She has got to be the single most hated trans person ever.
I play a lot of rocket league and the kids love homophobic slurs, I just call them pathetic.
Pin this somewhere.
ITT: a lot of people reading this to be specifically and only for cis white men, but they’re talking about the power any in-group member has to shut down bigoted shit and that’s what we should be focusing on. In a space where the biggest in-group is black women this post would be about them, but the most common “in-group” (disproportionately so) is white cis men so that’s who they mention. If this is making you feel attacked or targeted then please set aside that part of it and don’t discard the actual message, because this is honestly something everyone should think about.
Anytime you’re accepted somewhere, whether in public or among strangers, you have a lot of social power when it comes to setting the tone of conversation - one loud idiot can make a space feel extremely hostile to an outsider, and if everybody gives a polite laugh instead of speaking up that idiot learns saying things like that is okay and the “outsider” learns they’re not truly welcome. Literally one person who speaks up instead of letting it fly can solve this - the message is to be that person, not to attack anyone in particular.
Telling a dude to shut the fuck up works in any context. I yell it at strangers all the time
