You’re right. The Czech keyboard has a key that types § on base level (no modifier keys!) but no way to write a backtick, and the {}[]<>#@€$ symbols require right-Alt (AltGr), not to mention the ´/ˇ modifier sequence required for the not-very-uncommon letters ďťňó or any capital letter with diacritics. It was apparently created by bureaucrats who expect users to write about laws every day.

Christians also use the omega on this thing. Which is secretly a multimeter for current and resistance.

The joke comes from a Czech Uncyclopedia article, machine-translated for your convenience:

Combined current and resistance meter

A combined current and resistance meter is an electrical instrument that can measure both electric current (in amperes) and resistance (in ohms). The voltage can then be calculated from these two quantities using Ohm’s law, but its measurement does not have the same iconic significance as the measurement of current (see Cult of the ammeter) and resistance (see Church of measuring electrical resistance in whole units without the use of numerals), so it is not necessarily necessary to measure the voltage directly.

[img]
A combined current and resistance meter, called a pascal, shows values of 2.0 A and 1.3 Ω

Design

The meter is in the form of a cylinder, which is usually about 0.5 meters long (equivalent to 5.285×10-15 light years), with a radius of about 5 cm (i.e. 0.000 475 the length of a football field, but more importantly for us it is 5×1016times the size of an electron). Along the length of the cylinder, in its axis, runs the semiconductor. Otherwise, the meter material is true bee paraffin (chemically CnH2n+2, where n takes values in the interval <18; 32>).

The meter exploits the specific physical properties of paraffin, namely its ability to sublimate at a given temperature and pressure. The amperes (A) and ohms (Ω) symbols are listed in red on the side of the cylinder. Between them is a polarity symbol (usually + for positive values) and around it four digits with the measured values. There are also five capacitors in these locations.

On the ohmic end there is a socket. The ampere end is sharply terminated, there is a light indicator. The meter causes, as we have already mentioned, sublimation of the paraffin and thus shortening of the meter. The disadvantage of this meter is that it gets quite hot at the upper end during operation, but if necessary the meter can be shortened with a knife or otherwise adjusted around the light indicator.

Usage

As already mentioned, the measurement of current and resistance is mainly of cult significance. Therefore, this meter is also used in religious ceremonies, especially in Christian churches. In fact, Christians are based on Jesus’ statement, recorded in the Bible, “I am the Ampere and the Ohm, the beginning and the end.” (Or something like that, depending on the translation.)

The ceremony of measuring current and voltage takes place every year at Easter on the night of White Saturday. That’s when Christians light a giant light bulb to remind them that Jesus Christ is the Light of the World. After the European Union banned light bulbs, Christians replaced them with lighting fires. This has also brought certain advantages, for example, it is easier to burn a heretic in a fire than in a light bulb.

However, this change required some modifications in the design of the meter so that it could convert its light energy into current and resistance. The connection of the meter to the fire (and previously to the bulb) may only be made by a priest. In doing so, he sings the so-called Exsultet, a hymn of praise in which the origins and function of the meter are explained.

A new meter used at Easter is then placed in a place of honour in the church throughout the following year.

It is used again every Sunday (except during Lent), every day at Easter time, and again at baptisms. Before baptism, it is necessary to measure the electric current flowing through the font and the resistance of the water, so it is necessary to immerse the ohmic end of the meter in the font. If the ohmic end of the meter is insufficiently sealed, water will rise into the central semiconductor, which will result in a variable intensity of the indicator light.

Measurement results

Although current and resistance measurements occur worldwide under different local conditions, the results of measurements at the same point in time tend to be identical. This demonstrates some supernatural influence. We also observe that every year there is an increase of 0.1 ohm in the measured resistance value, while the measured current values tend to be constant over a longer period of time. It is only when the measured resistance exceeds 9.9 ohms that the so-called breakthrough occurs and the current increases by 0.1 ohm the next year while zero resistance is measured. This event is celebrated by the Church as the so-called Jubilee Year, and in the Vatican’s St. Peter’s Basilica a new gate is broken through to allow the increased current to pass.

No one yet knows what will happen when the current exceeds 9.9 amperes, which will put it outside the range of measuring instruments currently in use. It is possible that the end of the world, or at least the demise of the Church, will occur because of this, so that no combined current and resistance meters will be needed. It is equally possible that there will be a meter upgrade.

But arent you taught that in school?