• unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de
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      12 days ago

      People change, sometimes drastically. But also people can pretend to be someone they are not. I know a few people who had to experience this kind of thing. Really fucks up your trust in people and your own judgement.

      • snooggums@lemmy.world
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        12 days ago

        People can also marry someone for reasons that they think are positive, but end up being a horrible negative. Sometimes people marry someone because the other person is stable and takes care of things but then it turns out that they are extremely controlling too but it wasn’t obvious until later on.

      • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
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        11 days ago

        My partner’s ex is like this. She claims that he used to be nice but I’ve only ever known him as an absolute failure. I can’t imagine him as anything other than a vibrating ball of undirected rage. He spends most of his time being angry that he can’t get a better job, but he’s totally unprepared to do anything that might help him get a better job by getting training in something.

    • Dagwood222@lemm.ee
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      12 days ago

      “Spinster” is still a thing in a lot of places. A woman who can’t find a husband is looked down on. Also, those are the places where men who are ‘weak’ are looked down on. Community is a powerful thing, which is why so many LGBTQ kids flee their home towns as soon as they can.

    • InverseParallax@lemmy.world
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      11 days ago

      Southern abstinence-only education resulting in ludicrous amounts of teen-pregnancy and dependence on the first man available.

      • newenlightened@lemmy.world
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        11 days ago

        my god you’re right. it’s astounding how subordinate women are down there. the life goal of around 80% OR MORE of those women is get pregnant before 20 and marry. it’s sad and compounds a lot of problems. it’s a swath of population the world would be better off without.

        the rabbit hole is so deep down there. is it the oppressive religion that leads them all to be so problematic for society? maybe it’s the shitty education? maybe it’s the oppressive patriarchy? maybe the women want that hellish life as much as the men? is it the conservative culture?

        in the end, you just kinda have to say to yourself “i don’t know and i don’t care. burn it all down”

        • InverseParallax@lemmy.world
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          11 days ago

          I’m in the same place, I managed to escape and I see them trying to corrupt and destroy the rest of the country.

          It’s their elite, we needed to give the slave owners to their slaves and walk away, instead we kept them out of power for 10 years then let them go back as if nothing happened and got Jim Crow for 100 years, and brutal corruption as they took every dollar of federal money not nailed down.

          Until the southern good ol boy network is destroyed they will try to destroy America because they see themselves as the only true Americans.