• Admiral Patrick@dubvee.org
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    1 month ago

    Headline: Russian Oligarch Found Dead in Moscow after Falling Out of Window

    “Do you know how little that narrows it down?”

    • pandapoo@sh.itjust.works
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      1 month ago

      The classics are the point. These aren’t meant to be secretive killings, the signature is the message.

      They would use a different method if they wanted to obscure responsibility, dispose of the body, or do any number of things differently. Because they didn’t, means it was a public signing statement.

      Whether it was intended for one recipient, or many, who’s to say. Either way, you can be sure the intended party, or parties, received it.

        • pandapoo@sh.itjust.works
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          1 month ago

          Do you often find yourself in tall buildings and alone with oligarchs or siloviki?

          If so, sure why not.

          • BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works
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            1 month ago

            So not the coworker who heats fish in the break room microwave? They’re not rich nor Russian … at least I don’t think so. I better be safe and just do it.

      • elliot_crane@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        These aren’t meant to be secretive killings, the signature is the message

        Sure, but would it kill them to spice things up every once in a while?

        • pandapoo@sh.itjust.works
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          1 month ago

          It’s unfortunate that this method was initially used because it was an intentionally ambiguous method of assassination, whereas now it’s a signature assassination, with only a sprinkling of ambiguity for their local media.

          Just think, if they had started with tragic hot air balloon accident, death by misadventure with a jet ski, or pet bear mauling?

  • ms.lane@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    Oligarch: Putin what is going on with the war? Why are we losing?

    Putin: Oh wow look, an Eagle, just out there, wow majestic plumage, you should come and see…

  • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldM
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    1 month ago

    Windows are just so unsafe in Russia, aren’t they? I’m never getting near one if I ever go to Moscow.

    • r00ty@kbin.life
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      1 month ago

      Well. You’d need to avoid windows, tea, people with umbrellas (OK not directly Russian, but soviet era eastern europe), aeroplanes, cars. And if they really want to get you, they’ll go old school and use a gun, or perhaps even a missile if you annoy the right people enough.

      I’d just skip Moscow as a whole personally.

    • jqubed@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      Windows are just so unsafe in Russia, aren’t they? I’m never getting near one if I ever go[ing] to Moscow.

      • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldM
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        1 month ago

        I’d love to go to Moscow. From all I’ve seen, it’s a beautiful city. I’d also love to go to St. Petersburg and see the Hermitage.

        But not while Putin is in power. Maybe one day when elections are fair and queer people aren’t oppressed, but I won’t be holding my breath for that happening in my lifetime sadly.

        • andrew_bidlaw@sh.itjust.works
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          1 month ago

          If I’d outlive the gramps sending us to kill and die, it’d be a pleasure for me to show you and other lemmings around. Russia has many sight to see and adore, to fall in love even, mostly in St. Petes as I’m biased against Moscow. If at any point I’d not be persecuted for printing that comment, I’d gladly do it on the house.

          Peterhoff is one of the most popular tourist destinations there if you want to google some photos. A mansion where every room is designed in it’s own royal-tier style to cringe at. And that complex is surrounded with a huge walking park with old trees, marble statues and beatiful fontains, some of them are made to shoot at random from the ground to confuse visitors, all of that sitting right at the shore.

          • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldM
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            1 month ago

            My dad was invited to a conference in St. Petersburg when it was still Leningrad after Glasnost. He was well-traveled, but talked about how the two most beautiful cities he ever saw in his life were Leningrad and Sarajevo. He openly wept when the latter was destroyed during the war in the Balkans.

            • andrew_bidlaw@sh.itjust.works
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              1 month ago

              I hope we’d fucking stop before he’d cry once more at the ruins of Piter. This town still has historical markings about what side of the street to follow and where to hide from the WW2, and still…

        • InverseParallax@lemmy.world
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          1 month ago

          Maybe one day when elections are fair and queer people aren’t oppressed, but I won’t be holding my breath for that happening in my lifetime sadly.

          Yeah, work wanted to send me, but I’m not white and also not suicidal window-proof.

          • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldM
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            1 month ago

            I’d like to go to Kamchatka just so I can tell them that they’re the most useless space in Risk.

            Also, apparently there’s lots of volcanoes and stuff.

        • jqubed@lemmy.world
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          1 month ago

          Oh yes, the avoidance is entirely for governmental reasons. There is so much that would be interesting to see otherwise. Sadly it seems to be a repeating theme in Russian history where some change happens that seems like the ordinary people are finally starting to get some freedom and stability but then some authoritarian gets in power and cracks down on any dissenting views, even minor. I guess outsiders have to catch it during the right window of time.

      • Scubus@sh.itjust.works
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        1 month ago

        Windows are just so unsafe in Russia, aren’t they? I’m never getting near one if I ever go to Moscow.

  • Lad@reddthat.com
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    1 month ago

    Some day a Russian public figure really will accidentally fall to their death out a window, but everyone will still think it’s an assassination lmao

  • Etterra@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    Man it’s really easy for Russians to fall out of windows. Maybe they should put a warning sticker on them or something.