If you judge someone’s look without sexualising them or even telling them (in a weird way), you’re not a creep.
The whole “it was just a compliment” crowd is wrong because the statements are not compliments. They’re usually overly sexual, predatory, in a threatening way, or very pushy.
That’s why it’s mostly not that “compliments are now illegal”, it’s just something else.
But if someone’s literally just saying something like “your hair looks great” without otherwise being pushy or intrusive, they’re not a creep! And calling them just proves the actual creeps right when they say that just every compliment counts as being creepy.
Most people consider comments about their physical appearance to be intrusive. Bodily autonomy is a pretty common value. No one is entitled to controlling another person’s body. No one owes you anything, including niceness when you violate a common boundary.
Telling a woman you prefer anything about her appearance when she didn’t ask you is creepy, especially if she is communicating she is not interested in the male status quo opinion and that’s what you are pushing. “You’d look better if you’d just smile,” isn’t a nice compliment. It’s a controlling asshole thing to say, and shows your male entitlement. Just like calling a woman uglier after she cuts her hair.
Women in particular do not want to hear from men their opinions about looking like a woman, because a lot of times they are unaware of what they are demanding. The OP could have chosen to cut her hair because she has cancer or lupus, for example. Or most likely, she KNOWS men prefer long hair already and has her own reasons for choosing short hair. Maybe she wanted to look more appealing to women by emphasizing her jawline, for instance. Or sometimes, looking a little different can be more interesting anyway to others if that is what she’s concerned about.
In any case, yeah, most compliments are indeed creepy. Do you understand what women mean when they call a man creepy? They are calling him a hunter. They are saying he’s being predatory to them. Invading their emotional boundaries is one aspect (invading their emotional boundaries to comment on physical appearance), narcissism is another (laughable hubris that they even know what would look good on women when they don’t understand hair or makeup or clothes for women), and last is controlling behaviors/objectification (feeling entitled to treating women like a doll to dress up).
So yeah, incels are admitting it themselves - all compliments are creepy when used by predators, yeah.
Yeah, that’s where I check out. I’m a guy. I know and interact with women. Sometimes I wanna be like Hey, nice dress, because it’s a nice dress, not because I’m thinking about abandoning my kids and leaving my wife over it. Instead I say nothing, because I understand that we live in a time where it might be misconstrued as sexual harassment. It’s dumb.
Yes, creep. you don’t like it. That was the point.
If you judge someone’s look without sexualising them or even telling them (in a weird way), you’re not a creep.
The whole “it was just a compliment” crowd is wrong because the statements are not compliments. They’re usually overly sexual, predatory, in a threatening way, or very pushy.
That’s why it’s mostly not that “compliments are now illegal”, it’s just something else.
But if someone’s literally just saying something like “your hair looks great” without otherwise being pushy or intrusive, they’re not a creep! And calling them just proves the actual creeps right when they say that just every compliment counts as being creepy.
Most people consider comments about their physical appearance to be intrusive. Bodily autonomy is a pretty common value. No one is entitled to controlling another person’s body. No one owes you anything, including niceness when you violate a common boundary.
Telling a woman you prefer anything about her appearance when she didn’t ask you is creepy, especially if she is communicating she is not interested in the male status quo opinion and that’s what you are pushing. “You’d look better if you’d just smile,” isn’t a nice compliment. It’s a controlling asshole thing to say, and shows your male entitlement. Just like calling a woman uglier after she cuts her hair.
Women in particular do not want to hear from men their opinions about looking like a woman, because a lot of times they are unaware of what they are demanding. The OP could have chosen to cut her hair because she has cancer or lupus, for example. Or most likely, she KNOWS men prefer long hair already and has her own reasons for choosing short hair. Maybe she wanted to look more appealing to women by emphasizing her jawline, for instance. Or sometimes, looking a little different can be more interesting anyway to others if that is what she’s concerned about.
In any case, yeah, most compliments are indeed creepy. Do you understand what women mean when they call a man creepy? They are calling him a hunter. They are saying he’s being predatory to them. Invading their emotional boundaries is one aspect (invading their emotional boundaries to comment on physical appearance), narcissism is another (laughable hubris that they even know what would look good on women when they don’t understand hair or makeup or clothes for women), and last is controlling behaviors/objectification (feeling entitled to treating women like a doll to dress up).
So yeah, incels are admitting it themselves - all compliments are creepy when used by predators, yeah.
Yep.
Huh, thought you were just explaining that you were better than this. Oh well…
So according to you it is not ok to compliment strangers on their hair?
Yeah, that’s where I check out. I’m a guy. I know and interact with women. Sometimes I wanna be like Hey, nice dress, because it’s a nice dress, not because I’m thinking about abandoning my kids and leaving my wife over it. Instead I say nothing, because I understand that we live in a time where it might be misconstrued as sexual harassment. It’s dumb.