Years ago I had a romantic partner, and they were going through some significant changes, eventually culminating in our breakup and later their acceptance and identification with non-binary gender. Not important.
Shortly after we broke up, or kinda broke up or whatever, she shaved her head to a short stubble. It looked good. Started hanging out more with a guy we knew let’s call him Tom. Real nice guy, great cook, just a good all round human. He decided to go on a cross country van trip, and my ex decided to go with him. Saw some pics looked like fun, whatever.
Within our friend group there was a couple that would come around to parties: she was very nice and friendly, strikingly attractive light eyes; her husband was kind of a terse dickish guy. About a year after my ex’s road trip, the couple gets a divorce. The woman, shaves her head to a short stubble, it looked good. Within a few months guess who goes on a cross country road trip with Tom?
Tom had some kind of incredible game wrt recently shorn femmes and cross country road trips.
Congratulations, now you look like a teenage boy.
Found the creep.
Entirely besides the point, but the shirt hair makes her head look very square. So I think she was better off with the long hair.
Yes, creep. you don’t like it. That was the point.
If you judge someone’s look without sexualising them or even telling them (in a weird way), you’re not a creep.
The whole “it was just a compliment” crowd is wrong because the statements are not compliments. They’re usually overly sexual, predatory, in a threatening way, or very pushy.
That’s why it’s mostly not that “compliments are now illegal”, it’s just something else.
But if someone’s literally just saying something like “your hair looks great” without otherwise being pushy or intrusive, they’re not a creep! And calling them just proves the actual creeps right when they say that just every compliment counts as being creepy.Most people consider comments about their physical appearance to be intrusive. Bodily autonomy is a pretty common value. No one is entitled to controlling another person’s body. No one owes you anything, including niceness when you violate a common boundary.
Telling a woman you prefer anything about her appearance when she didn’t ask you is creepy, especially if she is communicating she is not interested in the male status quo opinion and that’s what you are pushing. “You’d look better if you’d just smile,” isn’t a nice compliment. It’s a controlling asshole thing to say, and shows your male entitlement. Just like calling a woman uglier after she cuts her hair.
Women in particular do not want to hear from men their opinions about looking like a woman, because a lot of times they are unaware of what they are demanding. The OP could have chosen to cut her hair because she has cancer or lupus, for example. Or most likely, she KNOWS men prefer long hair already and has her own reasons for choosing short hair. Maybe she wanted to look more appealing to women by emphasizing her jawline, for instance. Or sometimes, looking a little different can be more interesting anyway to others if that is what she’s concerned about.
In any case, yeah, most compliments are indeed creepy. Do you understand what women mean when they call a man creepy? They are calling him a hunter. They are saying he’s being predatory to them. Invading their emotional boundaries is one aspect (invading their emotional boundaries to comment on physical appearance), narcissism is another (laughable hubris that they even know what would look good on women when they don’t understand hair or makeup or clothes for women), and last is controlling behaviors/objectification (feeling entitled to treating women like a doll to dress up).
So yeah, incels are admitting it themselves - all compliments are creepy when used by predators, yeah.
The whole “it was just a compliment” crowd is wrong
Yep.
But if someone’s literally just saying something like “your hair looks great”…
Huh, thought you were just explaining that you were better than this. Oh well…
So according to you it is not ok to compliment strangers on their hair?
Yeah, that’s where I check out. I’m a guy. I know and interact with women. Sometimes I wanna be like Hey, nice dress, because it’s a nice dress, not because I’m thinking about abandoning my kids and leaving my wife over it. Instead I say nothing, because I understand that we live in a time where it might be misconstrued as sexual harassment. It’s dumb.
Lul, thumbnail made me think this was a Milana Vayntrub social media post about a great day at the hair stylists.
Anybody (of any gender) that perfomatively does something solely out of spite is toddler core.
“My girlfriend told me she doesn’t like mullets so I got a mullet lol”
“My dad says I’m not allowed a tattoo so now I want one even more!”
Toddler core.
I don’t know if I’d trust any of the text around it until we see more … the picture doesn’t seem like it matches at all.
I mean, you can downvote me but the text seems utterly ridiculous. If it’s real then you guys are right, but it certainly doesn’t seem like a believable story.
Stop trying to make ‘toddler core’ happen. Also this is creepy to whine about someone’s hair this hard. You are a creep.
I don’t care about anyone’s hair. Maybe you misread my comment? You can sub in any action performatively done in response to a “no”.
Your misreading of my comment is toddler core.
Yes punks are toddlers, anyone going against the status quo - toddlers, all acts of rebellion- toddler vibes. Being radical- toddler.
I think it’s better to just say toddlers are punks. They just don’t give a shit about authority. Toddlers are soooo punk rock. I asked my 3yo if he knew where he was, he said “I’m in the jungle, baby!”. Yeah. Like that.
I hope the toddlers rise against the system
He’s 5 now and still a punk. Waiting for the day when I ask him to clean his room and he says “Fuck you I won’t do what you tell me”. And I’ll cry a bittersweet tear.
I knew an awful lot of punks, that performatively didn’t shower, that performatively vandalized stuff, and so on. One of them even performatively became a nazi, then stayed that way.
Yes, even punks can be toddlercore, and the better ones call out that shit.
I have the kind of super long and thick hair that gets attention. Most of the compliments I like. I did after all use a lot of effort and time growing and taking care of it.
Once, at work, I got approached by a guy with a fetish for long, reddish hair. He proceeded to tell me how great of a boyfriend he’d be, how he’d wash and brush and take such good care of my hair. I was disgusted. And that disgust got associated with my hair. It took a couple of days for that disgust to fade and during it I did not like my hair.
If that kind of shit happened often I’d totally see myself cutting the hair off.
Short hair is not her friend
Nah, it’s cute on her
Either is cute
Yall this is pretty fucking weird…
It’s an incel meme. It’s super weird.
makes a lot of sense actually. if its actually an incelmeme, its probably supposed to generate the exact kind of comments we are seeing here right now
I forgot how to link subs again so pretend this works and that the sub exists on Lemmy !c/[email protected]
For links you can just drop the c/ and it should work [email protected]
Although if you’re just using it as a joke hashtag you prob don’t need the domain at all and just the c/ makes the point for you
So what happens if a creep says he loves her short hair? Shaved bald? Then what happens if a creep says he loves her bald head?
Wigs. Bald heads are perfect for wigs.
Have you worn wigs? Will you wear wigs? When will you wear wigs?
Wigging out on wigs over here
Yeah, that’s what the commenter did but with extra steps.
Shaved bald?
A friend of mine was so angry at men after her breakup that she decided to shave her head. She thought that would make her unattractive. It had the exact opposite effect, because she ran with an alternative, artsy crowd.
The moral of that story is…know your audience. I’m sure if instead she had started dressing conservatively and quoting Bible verses, it would’ve worked.
Troy: “Lemme ask you something. People been clowning me about this jacket since I got here. But, if I take it off to make them happy, that just makes me weak, right?”
Jeff: “Listen, it doesn’t matter. You lose the jacket to please them, you keep it to piss them off. Either way, it’s for them. That’s what’s weak.”
Troy: “Whoa. You just wrinkled my brain, man.”
I love that new hairstyle for her! I don’t think everyone can pull it off, but it looks great.
I think she could pull off a different style of short but I disagree it’s a good look at least compared to her long hair. Sucks someone grossed her out so much she felt the need to cut it.
Wow a lot of hurt opinions on someone else’s hair. That’s creepy too.
Agreed on the last part.
Imagine being so vindictive that you have to invent reasons to continue being vindictive.
People believe this shit?
You don’t understand. A simple compliment about something that obviously takes a lot of work is TRAUMATIZING! Tune in tomorrow when she tries to get her revenge via HR and they politely tell her to seek employment elsewhere because they don’t want none of her kind of crazy, and she follows up with a post about being unfairly cancelled.
I’m pretty sure the girl in the picture had nothing to do with with the batshit stupid captions. As I understand it, the pic was taken from a stylists’s page.
Do you think that somebody would actually do that? Get on the Internet and tell lies?
You made me spit out my cat burger.
Oh I am too. I thought the ridiculousness of the whole thing made it obvious I’m joking.
Oh I got it. Was just adding on.
GD it, ya got me o7
I can’t find the reference but the picture is from a stylists’ website.
It’s just ragebait.
I fucking hate ragebait. It makes me rage just thinking about it.
Lol
That’ll show him!
