• LanternEverywhere@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    If someone was born without a leg you wouldn’t think “gee they must be dumb to not have figured out how to regrow their leg.” Autism is how you are from birth, it’s part of who you are, you can’t smart your way out of having autism any more than the other person can smart their way to regrowing their leg.

    • Default
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      1 year ago

      True. Social skills can clearly be practised and improved though

      • maniclucky@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        So can ballet, but there’s an upper limit for people. I could dump a lot of effort with seriously diminishing returns into social niceties, or I can accept this weakness and work around it as necessary. I choose the latter as the former is exhausting and unrewarding.

      • clara@feddit.uk
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        1 year ago

        sure, i get what you mean. but consider this viewpoint. a paraplegic can practise pulling themselves up a stairway by using the handrails. it will work, but it’s not going to be neat, and it will painfully out that individual as disabled either way. or, (jn this analogy) the building owner could install an elevator…

        yes, we should do our best to understand the basic social script - but i think society needs to “install more elevators” to make this process easier. there’s a certain point where, no matter how hard we try to learn the social script, we’re still autistic, we’re still going to be outed as “weird”, and that cold truth is just not going away, regardless of how much practice we put in.

        personally, i think seriously trying to blend in, is a fools errand. save your energy ❤️

  • eodur@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Embrace it. Think of awkwardness as your charm and eventually others will too.

  • WarmSoda@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    Be awkward if that’s how you do things. Embrace it if that’s who you are. Don’t be afraid to be you.

  • ivanafterall@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    Don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s also not difficult to watch/recognize a fiery car crash, but that doesn’t mean you could stop it.

  • ParadoxPandox@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I may feel this on a deep level, but being awkward doesn’t say anything about your intelligence. Just be you. Fuck the haters.

    • Llewellyn@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      Who talk about haters? Those, who perceive you as awkward hardly are “haters”.

  • Raelle@sopuli.xyz
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    1 year ago

    My way of dealing with this is probably very unhealthy:

    • Suppress myself
    • Avoid situations
    • TimLovesTech (AuDHD)(he/him)@badatbeing.social
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      1 year ago

      I do this, plus I’m fairly good at observing/scripting and then just play back the script for a lot of situations.

      New stuff throws me for a loop sometimes, like anything to do with me. Like I’m not actually telling you how I feel about something, or what I know about something, because after my tangent you’ll just stare at me. I’ll look to someone else to save me or “all hands abandon” and “abort abort” myself right out of there.

  • ElTacoEsMiPastor@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    This is basically the P=NP problem! 🤔💀

    Yeah, you can easily assess whether things are going ok at any moment, but it’s hard as fuck to know how to make things ok from scratch.

  • Zozano
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    1 year ago

    That feeling when you’re dumb enough to think you’ve passed the peak of mount stupid on the Dunning Krueger graph, but not dumb enough to give off Labrador vibes.