• there’s a guy I’d like to know, we bump into each other sometimes. Last time I actually thought he was excited to see me but not sure of course… my self esteem is a rollercoaster.
  • I can’t actually pursue something “serious” right now so I’d like to know him but in the most casual way possible. Just thinking about asking him out makes me feel sick
  • this isn’t just about him but in general, what can I do, I really don’t know how to deal with myself.

I’m 26 and really need all help possible. I’m in a bad place at the moment and I didn’t even wanna post this… but a friend once told me to not let all areas of my life fall apart. Wish I had listened. Really just give me any advice you feel like giving me, it would be appreciated.

  • Shadow@lemmy.caEnglish
    1·
    3 months ago

    Open communication is really underrated for some reason. Next time you see him, “I think you’re cute, would you like to grab coffee / tea sometime?”

    I know it’s hard and scary, rejection fucking sucks, but if you don’t try you’ll never know. Just go into it with low expectations and then you can be pleasantly surprised.

    • shivasmash@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      1·
      3 months ago

      It’s not even rejection, which terrifies me anyway… But just imagining going out with him (or anyone really) I panic, I’m afraid something could go wrong and I would spiral down the black hole again (happened badly once). It’s about me mostly and I don’t know how to deal with it. Because of course I don’t want to deny myself dates forever

      • Shadow@lemmy.caEnglish
        1·
        3 months ago

        Yeah that’s tricky, take small steps if you need to! What if you made a list of steps, with each step tied to a specific timeframe?

        Tomorrow say hi. The day after ask how they’re doing. The day after try to find a mutual topic to discuss, that sort of thing? Break it up into smaller achievable steps, so that each step forwards isn’t so intimidating?