Some people, for some reason, consider their day wasted if they don’t make at least one person they perceive as lower on the town pole than them suffer. And they consider themselves good guys, helpful guys and pillars of their communities. Which is too fucking sad and infuriating to put into words…
I am a doorman for a highrise full of wealthy people. Pretty regularly someone reports a “suspicious” person near the bus stop. Every single time it is just a black person waiting for a bus. No matter how polite and proper they may seem, the wealthy are all scum.
I watched a documentation about police (EU) some months ago. They were called because supposedly there were “foreigners” causing trouble. They arrived and tried to figure out what the deal was but they were very confused. So the “troublemakers” were friendly and cooperative and the old man who called the police wanted the others gone. Police quickly realized who the actual problem was but the guy was having none of it. He even escalated and was even taken into custody if I recall correctly.
Not sure where the hell I was going with this story but your story reminded me of it. Something about suspicion I guess?
I’ve leaned away from being polite using the magic words and rituals of interaction they teach us in elementary school. And think about how upset it makes older generations when the young say things like “no problem.” We do things for others because we want to, and when they show appreciation we let then know we did it out of a shared sense of humanity. And the older folks hate that. They prefer “you’re welcome” because
That’s what they grew up with as the ritual
The implied dynamic is “you are welcome to my help” which is very different from “I was happy to help” or “it was the least I could do” or “I did it out of a sense of shared humanity.” They want to have their entitlement to our help affirmed.
So yeah. Don’t be polite for the sake of being polite. Don’t be rude for the sake of being rude. Be kind for the sake of a shared human experience. And tell people who don’t participate in a revolution of empathy they can fuck right off
I’ve been thrown the last year or so when I say “thank you” to someone doing their job (server, cashier, etc.) if they are younger Gen Z, they say “Of course!” with a kind of shocked look that makes me question if saying “thank you” was somehow inappropriate on my part and I feel like Grandpa Simpson. I’m 40.
They’re not used to people your age and older thanking them. For much as the older folks out there demand we say please and thank you, they don’t say it to service workers because they don’t see them as people. I know from my own experience being surrounded by service workers
Well see here’s the kicker. There are words you can find to put into that situation. They don’t have to be good words, complicated, or even particularly useful. The most important thing is to speak out. We tend to be too tolerant and unwilling to place ourselves in the center of attention. Saw it during Covid, see it in most situations. We turn our heads and avert our eyes, subverting the expectation that good people should stand for good reasons.
I’ll say it plainly: Most of us mean well and speak well. We do nothing though.
“Karen” was a nice one to at least get some of these assholes to understand.
But yeah, words are strong. Oppressive regimes actually try and avoid or even remove certain words because it allows the people to easily explain something that could hurt the regime.
dude, small towns are filled with some of the most vile and spiteful people I have ever met, literally hold grudges their entire lives, and think themselves better than you because their great great grandad did something in the area, they are exactly the people who would call the cops that fast
counterpoint, how about you get a statement from the police about no one calling? oh wait, turns out police don’t give statements like that AND don’t actually release who called for what (and for good reason)
but wait, you’re just trying to put up some proof that you know isn’t possible to get because you can’t accept that small towns are where hate lives
to be fair, there are a lot of priests who don’t do anything to children, meanwhile the hate of homless people in America is so high several states have literally outlawed being homeless
![[2020] 20 Minutes for a Statue to be in Before a Neighbor Calls the Cops to Investigate.](https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/f90584e7-9158-40cd-8665-94e70998b52e.jpeg){kind=link}
Some people, for some reason, consider their day wasted if they don’t make at least one person they perceive as lower on the town pole than them suffer. And they consider themselves good guys, helpful guys and pillars of their communities. Which is too fucking sad and infuriating to put into words…
I am a doorman for a highrise full of wealthy people. Pretty regularly someone reports a “suspicious” person near the bus stop. Every single time it is just a black person waiting for a bus. No matter how polite and proper they may seem, the wealthy are all scum.
I watched a documentation about police (EU) some months ago. They were called because supposedly there were “foreigners” causing trouble. They arrived and tried to figure out what the deal was but they were very confused. So the “troublemakers” were friendly and cooperative and the old man who called the police wanted the others gone. Police quickly realized who the actual problem was but the guy was having none of it. He even escalated and was even taken into custody if I recall correctly.
Not sure where the hell I was going with this story but your story reminded me of it. Something about suspicion I guess?
We should see politeness as offensive like the French did
Because it is. Ever have someone say “thank you” when what they really mean is “I’m done with you, get away from me.”
I’ve leaned away from being polite using the magic words and rituals of interaction they teach us in elementary school. And think about how upset it makes older generations when the young say things like “no problem.” We do things for others because we want to, and when they show appreciation we let then know we did it out of a shared sense of humanity. And the older folks hate that. They prefer “you’re welcome” because
So yeah. Don’t be polite for the sake of being polite. Don’t be rude for the sake of being rude. Be kind for the sake of a shared human experience. And tell people who don’t participate in a revolution of empathy they can fuck right off
I’ve been thrown the last year or so when I say “thank you” to someone doing their job (server, cashier, etc.) if they are younger Gen Z, they say “Of course!” with a kind of shocked look that makes me question if saying “thank you” was somehow inappropriate on my part and I feel like Grandpa Simpson. I’m 40.
They’re not used to people your age and older thanking them. For much as the older folks out there demand we say please and thank you, they don’t say it to service workers because they don’t see them as people. I know from my own experience being surrounded by service workers
Well see here’s the kicker. There are words you can find to put into that situation. They don’t have to be good words, complicated, or even particularly useful. The most important thing is to speak out. We tend to be too tolerant and unwilling to place ourselves in the center of attention. Saw it during Covid, see it in most situations. We turn our heads and avert our eyes, subverting the expectation that good people should stand for good reasons.
I’ll say it plainly: Most of us mean well and speak well. We do nothing though.
“Karen” was a nice one to at least get some of these assholes to understand.
But yeah, words are strong. Oppressive regimes actually try and avoid or even remove certain words because it allows the people to easily explain something that could hurt the regime.
deleted by creator
is the implication that Americans might not be the most moral beings in the world that scary?
deleted by creator
dude, small towns are filled with some of the most vile and spiteful people I have ever met, literally hold grudges their entire lives, and think themselves better than you because their great great grandad did something in the area, they are exactly the people who would call the cops that fast
deleted by creator
counterpoint, how about you get a statement from the police about no one calling? oh wait, turns out police don’t give statements like that AND don’t actually release who called for what (and for good reason)
but wait, you’re just trying to put up some proof that you know isn’t possible to get because you can’t accept that small towns are where hate lives
deleted by creator
to be fair, there are a lot of priests who don’t do anything to children, meanwhile the hate of homless people in America is so high several states have literally outlawed being homeless
Everyday sadists.