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- cross-posted to:
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Before the 1960s, it was really hard to get divorced in America.
Typically, the only way to do it was to convince a judge that your spouse had committed some form of wrongdoing, like adultery, abandonment, or ācrueltyā (that is, abuse). This could be difficult: āEven if you could prove you had been hit, that didnāt necessarily mean it rose to the level of cruelty that justified a divorce,ā saidĀ Marcia Zug, a family law professor at the University of South Carolina.
Then came a revolution: In 1969, then-Gov. Ronald Reagan of California (who was himself divorced) signedĀ the nationās first no-fault divorce law, allowing people to end their marriages without proving theyād been wronged. The move was a recognition that āpeople were going to get out of marriages,ā Zug said, and gave them a way to do that withoutĀ resorting to subterfuge. Similar laws soon swept the country, and rates ofĀ domestic violence and spousal murderĀ began to drop as people ā especially women ā gained more freedom to leave dangerous situations.
Today, however, a counter-revolution is brewing:Ā Conservative commentatorsĀ andĀ lawmakersĀ are calling for an end to no-fault divorce, arguing that it has harmed men and even destroyed the fabric of society. Oklahoma state Sen. Dusty Deevers, for example,Ā introduced a billĀ in January to ban his stateās version of no-fault divorce. The Texas Republican Party added a call to end the practice to itsĀ 2022 platformĀ (the plank is preserved inĀ the 2024 version). Federal lawmakers like Sen. J.D. Vance (R-OH) andĀ House Speaker Mike Johnson, as well as former Housing and Urban Development SecretaryĀ Ben Carson, have spoken out in favor of tightening divorce laws.
Meh, very often the women married to conservative assholes arenāt blameless. And often share their husband views.
A lot of them are raised to be that way though. One of the big pushes in a lot of Christian circles, for example, is the push to raise kids believing in complementarianism instead of egalitarianismāsimply put, that god created men and women to have different roles, and that men just so happen to be in the role of leadership. Combine that with extreme purity culture (at times involving courtship instead of dating, for example) and a fervor to push for big families, and you get a bunch of grown ups looking up after 5, 10 years in a marriage going, āwait, I was promised happiness, why am I so miserable?ā Divorce is a huge tool to help. We need to give people, especially women and children, a safe exit from high control spaces.
Not the ones that divorced these conservative assholes. We should be encouraging them to escape, not forcing them back.