For some projects I finish them and sit on them for a few weeks or months. Then I revisit them, make a few minor tweaks and then release them. Sometimes you hate something and after a few weeks you look it over and say “this is amazing.”

Am a musician, and is also true for any song I write

The thing is, when people actually publish these works, the only person that hates them is the author.

If someone finds all the things I’ve done that end like this and decides to publish them or something after I die, I’m gonna be so embarrassed.

This is me trying to write. I will get through a chapter and think it’s brilliant, but will convince myself I’ll save loads of time of I just edit each chapter as I go. Problem is, every time I open it up, I seem to have a different opinion on what’s good, whether I like the way each sentence flows, etc. Eventually I come to the realization that I’ve completely butchered it in the process.

Wow, you go straight to hating it without leaving your seat? I usually have to either go to sleep or go out to do something else to leave some time for my idea of the drawing to grow further from the actual drawing before it happens.

[Edit: I answered as if it were about a drawing when it’s about a text. I don’t have any funny or useful insight to give about the later, since I can’t relate: Everything I’ve ever written was perfect. Also, I don’t write.]

The toil. The hardship. The lament. I was writing 10 screenplays deep into a 13 episode season. And in a blink of an eye, shoved everything into the back of a drawer. And said to myself, “that should’ve never happened - that all needs to stay inside my head.”

Definitely how I felt after finishing my master’s thesis. I never showed it to anyone I know.

The is me with my PhD thesis. I wrote it, submitted it, planned for an absolute grilling in the Viva, got waved through the Viva with just minor corrections for grammar, went overzealous with corrections, submitted for review, got accepted, finally graduated.

It still makes me sick to look at it on my bookshelf.