Transcription:
How To Confound A Centaur
Centaur: Hold it right there, you can’t just ride through my fields uncontested! I’ll lose my credibility if we don’t battle or something.
Me: That’s fair. How about we–
Centaur: And it can’t be a pun battle, I heard what you did to the sphinx.
Me: Darn. Okay, what if I beat you in a horse race?
Centaur: Ha! Alright, your funeral. Where’s the finish line?
Me: That tree over there. Where’s your horse?
Centaur: (gestures at horsey backside) Um…?
Me: You’re not a horse, this is a HORSE race. You have to race with an actual horse.
Centaur: You want me… a centaur… to RIDE a regular horse.
Me: That is, linguistically-speaking, what you agreed to.
Centaur: …
Me: …
Centaur: I hate you.
Me: That’s fair.
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And if the answer to that is yes…is it more or less gross than if the centaur borked a human?
Way less gross. Human and centaur are both intelligent, can communicate, and give consent, so it would be fine. With a horse (which has none of these things) the centaur would be committing bestiality.
Well, in many games there is a Speak With Animals spells or equivalent. They are capable of communication, we just usually can’t understand.
Apply the Harkness test (self aware intelligence, physical maturity, and ability to communicate consent). Both humans and centaurs pass assuming the individual is a willing adult, horses fail twice due to being nonsapient and uncommunicative.
From the human perpective, probably the horse is a little bit less gross. From the centaur perpective, probably the human is less gross, but I’m only half centaur, so can’t speak for all of them.
The hooves must make it difficult for you to type.
Neigh, it’s the other half.
does that mean you are 3/4 human and 1/4 horse?
Or 1/4 human, 3/4 horse?
Or 1/4 human, 1/4 horse and 1/2 something else?
Only their upper half is centaur - the lower half is human.
It depends how it flops.
Does it flop at the first set of legs, or the second?
Human part tends to end around the navel so… Second.
I can’t type what I’m thinking
Would a centaur have two navels?
They definitely have two ribcages. That might imply two hearts and multiples of other organs.