• Zagorath
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    24 days ago

    When you mock them based on traits that have nothing to do with their fuckwad-ery, you also hit innocents who happen to have those same traits.

    • Socsa@sh.itjust.works
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      24 days ago

      It depends. I have a tiny dick, but that doesn’t cause me to buy guns and trucks to compensate, so I don’t feel attacked when someone makes fun of some assholes Truck dick.

      • idiomaddict@lemmy.world
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        24 days ago

        That’s not really making fun of them for having a small penis though: most of the people making those jokes have no idea what their penises look like. Those jokes are based on their behavior and an assumed source of the person’s inferiority complex (which is still fucked up, because it reinforces the idea that having a small penis makes one inferior).

        The small hands jokes aren’t even based on trump actually having small hands (at least, they seem pretty average sized to me), but more on a perceived insecurity.

        Honestly, the diaper jokes seem the most likely to inadvertently hurt someone for something they can’t help. Everything else is based on his reactions to his physical attributes.

    • essell@lemmy.world
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      24 days ago

      Then I think it’s fair to ask, “Does his height have nothing to do with his fuckwad-ery?”

      • BlanketsWithSmallpox@lemmy.world
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        24 days ago

        More than likely it does. Little man syndrome is a thing for a reason. Turns out making fun of people for traits they can’t change through out their life kinda turns them into a fuckwad.

        • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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          24 days ago

          Can confirm. I’m 5’3 and spent a good chunk of my young adulthood struggling to not be a fuckwad after being picked on about it my whole life. Doing much better now though (I think).

    • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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      24 days ago

      I think that’s missing the point. Sure, it would be nice to not have collateral damage, but the goals of any public criticism should be to change the behavior we’re opposed to, and that can be either through shaming them into changing a policy, or changing the public’s opinion about a policy to change the outcome of the next election.

      Public insults only serve to rile up your side and put the other side on the defensive, it doesn’t change anyone’s mind and may actually encourage those in the middle to support the one you’re attacking (i.e. if they see them as an underdog).

      The proper approach is to criticize arguments in such a way that anyone who’s going to read it understands your argument. Saying Trump is unfit to be the President because he has small hands may give you and those on “your side” a few chuckles, but it’ll drive those in the middle to support him (is that their best argument??). Saying Trump is unfit to be the President because his anti-immigration policy will hurt the US economy because it limits the supply of cheap labor (and thus drives up prices and drives down production) may get someone to change their mind. If I thought a bit harder, I could probably come up with an even easier to understand argument that could change minds.

      So don’t hold back because you’re worried about offending someone else entirely, hold back because that’s more likely to get the outcome you want, both now and in the future.

      • Zagorath
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        23 days ago

        I really don’t agree. I mean, that may also be true, but I strongly believe that even if it were effective to do so, it would still be morally wrong to harm innocents in order to also hurt your political opponents.

        I actually am totally ok with targeting your opponent themselves. That shouldn’t be the only thing you do, and when you do it needs to be carefully crafted and accurate, but I am totally ok with, for example, the recent “weird” meme being applied to MAGAists. As I explained above I think it works because it doesn’t have collateral damage, but does work surprisingly well at upsetting its targets, and also highlights a truth and a dishonesty of the targets.

        But avoiding collateral damage is very important. You can’t necessarily be 100% successful at it, but at least trying is important. Society has, as a whole, agreed it’s not acceptable to say “lol that’s gay” as a criticism. Because that implies that being gay is bad and gay people should be ashamed. It’s increasingly also becoming true that fatphobic comments and comments about mental health terms being used as insults are not accepted, for the same reason. It belittles all fat or autistic or whatever people. Criticism on the basis of height or genital size really isn’t different.

        Though a comment about how someone might be “compensating” rides more of a line, IMO. Because that’s a comment about their internal motivation rather than per se about the trait in question. You’re actually critiquing their own insecurity. Personally I’m still not a huge fan of them, but I can see the other side.

        • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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          23 days ago

          harm innocents in order to also hurt your political opponents

          There are different levels of harm. As long as you’re attacking arguments instead of people, you’ll only hurt those who attach their identify to those arguments. For example, if you say an argument that same-sex couples shouldn’t be allowed to marry is bigoted, that may offend religious types who firmly believe homosexuality to be morally wrong, but that doesn’t make your argument any less valid. Or you could argue that increasing welfare benefits is fiscally irresponsible while running a deficit, which could imply that those who receive those benefits are also fiscally irresponsible and simultaneously not worth the benefits they receive.

          Collateral damage should be avoided in a well-structured argument, but it shouldn’t prevent you from making an important argument. But as long as you attack the argument and not individuals or groups, I don’t think you have any need to feel guilty for those who take offense at your arguments.

          There are also two types of arguments: arguments for something and arguments against something. For the first group, you should attack nameless “others” that are to blame for you not having nice things, such as “big tech” designing obsolescence into their products so you can’t repair your own stuff. The counter should attack that argument, not the person making that argument.

          the recent “weird” meme being applied to MAGAists

          But what’s the benefit? All it does is give “your side” some chuckles and causes “their side” to become defensive and attack you for something equally irrelevant.

          And it does have collateral damage, because you’re implying that anyone who is considering voting for them is “weird.” If the best argument the opposition has is personal attacks, that makes the attacked party more attractive and defensible. I’d rather vote for a “weird” candidate that’s genuine instead of a “normal” establishment candidate who’s guaranteed to disappoint.

          You’re actually critiquing their own insecurity.

          Sure, but insecurity isn’t an argument, and it’s just going to put people who sympathize with them on the defensive.

          For example, if you say “truck drivers are compensating for something,” that puts all truck drivers as well as anyone who thinks owning a truck would be cool to be on the defensive. They’re going to ignore the rest of your argument, even if it could convince them to change what they value.

          Instead of that, attack the people selling these products to insecure people. Say something like, “truck companies want you to think ‘real men’ buy big trucks, but the truth is they’re just trying to manipulate you to take your money. Look at average truck sale prices, they’re getting more and more expensive. Look past the marketing BS and get something more reasonable that still meets your needs so you can afford to do more cool stuff, like trips with the family or home improvement projects. A ‘real man’ makes his own choices, so make yours.” That way you turn their insecurity into a way for them to take control, while also painting the thing you want to discourage in a bad light. So instead of “you’re a fool for buying that stupid truck,” it’s “you’re smart for seeing through their lies and manipulation”).

          I probably could have worded it better, but hopefully my point is clear. It could be that people are hurt by this type of argument (i.e. “you’re saying I’m stupid because I fell for their marketing? I made that choice”), but if avoiding that reduces your reach, it’s worth breaking a few eggs to get the message out there. But the message needs to be constructive and shift the blame to be effective.

          • Zagorath
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            22 days ago

            But what’s the benefit? All it does is give “your side” some chuckles and causes “their side” to become defensive and attack you for something equally irrelevant.

            You’re neglecting the third “side”. Those who are neutral. Criticising an opponent—so long as those criticisms are well-grounded and don’t cause a neutral observer to say “wtf are you on about, you’re obviously making stuff up”—weakens their ability to convert others to their cause.

            you’re implying that anyone who is considering voting for them is “weird.”

            Someone voting for them isn’t collateral damage. They’re the intended targets.

            • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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              21 days ago

              wtf are you on about, you’re obviously making stuff up

              And that’s not a personal attack, that’s an attack on the argument. If someone is spouting complete nonsense, point out how a handful of their arguments are nonsense, and then argue that this person is consistently spouting nonsense. Then it’s on them to defend the ones you pointed out, or at least show that those are outliers (defend their other arguments), and if they instead resort to personal attacks, you use that as further evidence that their arguments don’t have substance.

              What I’m against is stuff like, “Trump is a fascist” with no actual evidence of support for fascism. Discredit him because of what he’s said and done (there’s plenty of material there), not because of party affiliation or the way he talks.

              This should go for all public discourse. I honestly don’t care about Trump or Harris, and they’ll be gone one way or another after several years. What I do care about is the longer-term direction of organized groups, and that is based on arguments, not people.

              • Zagorath
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                21 days ago

                that’s not a personal attack, that’s an attack on the argument

                No you misunderstood me. That bit you quoted wasn’t your argument against your opponent. It’s a response that someone might make to your personal attacks, if those attacks are not well-grounded. Calling Trump a sex pest is a personal attacks, but well-grounded in his actual behaviour. Calling Tim Walz a sex pest would not be well-grounded, to my knowledge.

                As for the F word…fascist shouldn’t be used as a mere insult, but using it where it’s applicable is important. It’s about predicting the kinds of behaviours you might expect from one person in the future based on the similarity of their current behaviours to other historical groups with a similar ideology. People should be concerned about Trump and the MAGA movement within the Republicans not “because they’re fascists”, but because the rhetoric they use is fascistic and it, along with some of their actual actions and policies, are eerily reminiscent of historical fascist movements. This is a criticism deeply rooted in ideas and as such isn’t really relevant in this discussion.

                • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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                  20 days ago

                  Calling Trump a sex pest is a personal attacks, but well-grounded in his actual behaviour

                  I disagree, it’s inflammatory, based on some sketchy evidence, and has absolutely nothing to do with his ability to govern. So there’s absolutely no reason to make that argument.

                  People should be concerned about Trump and the MAGA movement

                  Oh, I absolutely agree people should be worried, but if they’re going to call them fascist, they need some really compelling evidence. And in almost every case, that evidence just doesn’t exist. The stronger the accusation, the stronger your evidence needs to be.

                  I don’t call them fascist because I don’t have the evidence for that, even assuming Jan 6 was intentionally sparked by former Pres. Trump. The furthest I’ll go is to say he’s anti-democratic (he attacked the election with zero success) and that his policies would be harmful (high tariffs cause inflation, unfunded tax cuts cause inflation, etc). I then speculate about possible motivations (Trump is a narcissist, wants to benefit himself and other rich people, etc), and indicate that the average person will be worse off because of his policies. If you attack the person directly, you’ll put them on the defensive (you’re being unfair, or whatever). If you attack the policies and demonstrate that they help some group the listener/reader doesn’t like (say, billionaires) at their expense, you might convince them to consider alternatives.

                  If you believe his presidency would push us toward fascism, show the evidence. And then indicate what your preferred alternative (I assume Harris?) would do differently. If you can communicate that succinctly and in simple words, you could actually change peoples’ opinions. If you come off as calling names (i.e. sex pest fascist), you’ll just put people on the defensive. Don’t attack the individual, attack the ideas that individual espouses, and show how those ideas will benefit others you don’t like at your expense.

      • Zagorath
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        24 days ago

        You don’t want a kinder and more just world? That’s unfortunate.

        • The Snark Urge@lemmy.world
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          24 days ago

          That guy took things in a direction I never intended. The social contact doesn’t protect those who don’t uphold it IMO, so people like Farquad and his IRL counterparts should not be safe from low minded trollery. E.G. A lot of people think I’m weird and I’ve faced some ostracism for it, but it doesn’t bother me to see weirdness used as a playground insult against Trump. It’s understood that it’s only being said because it upsets him.

          • Zagorath
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            24 days ago

            I think “weird” is an interesting case precisely because it’s a subjective term. Whether or not someone is weird is in the eye of the beholder. It can also be taken positively or negatively, depending on one’s outlook. And it can be for different reasons; calling someone weird based on their political beliefs is different from calling them weird for how they look, for example. And even calling someone weird for holding one particular value is different from calling them weird for a different value.

            Insulting one person for being weird doesn’t actively target anyone else because people may identify themselves as weird or not, and separately may identify it as an insult or not. It works very well against Trump and his allies because they specifically position themselves as believing in the values of the normal American. So being called weird is a doubly-whammy of undermining their self-image and being based on something that actually does make them a bad person, and so the only drive-by victims are other people with harmful beliefs.

            • The Snark Urge@lemmy.world
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              24 days ago

              That’s all reasonable enough. I don’t mind that we disagree, just wanted to make it clear I’m not like, a crazy person about it.

          • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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            24 days ago

            I strongly disagree. Just because someone else doesn’t uphold their end of the deal doesn’t give you license to not uphold yours. That’s where integrity comes in, and it’s absolutely worth fighting for. Not to mention, slinging insults just pushes the other side to dig in and reject anything further you have to say. If someone thinks Trump has okay-ish policies but isn’t sold yet, and you attack him over something completely irrelevant to his campaign, you’re going to push that person into supporting him more strongly. But if you attack his policies and explain how they’ll be bad for them/America, they may change their mind.

            Insulting someone like Trump may feel good in the moment, but it’s counter-productive.

            • The Snark Urge@lemmy.world
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              23 days ago

              Well, it typically does. That’s how contracts are usually structured, to nullify on breach. Warranty void if seal is broken.

              • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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                23 days ago

                Warranty void if seal is broken.

                Which is explicitly illegal, and if you see it, you should report it so the company gets fined.

                And contracts are generally not voided just because one party violated one part of the contract. Instead, there are consequences in place for such a violation, and the other party is justified in demanding restitution for that violation. In a “social contract,” that means you’re absolutely free to call that person out for the contract violation and seek redress (e.g. sue for defamation or whatever), but it does not justify you in jumping into the mud with them.

                Hold the high ground and don’t let them drag you into the muck with them.

        • Comment105@lemm.ee
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          24 days ago

          It’s not a kinder world you want.

          It’s a cautious, fragile world.

          Progressives like to claim the working class as their constituents while pursuing the culture of pompous nobles in high court, apparently loving the idea of living a life where anyone could carelessly drop a pin and the room would figuratively shatter from the tension.

          Fuck you. Fuck everything you stand for. I hate it.

          • Zagorath
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            24 days ago

            Bruh, you need to calm down. You’re getting really stressed out over other people just trying to be considerate of others’ feelings.

            • taladar@sh.itjust.works
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              24 days ago

              Sort of makes sense. What comes natural to a kind person requires significant effort from someone whose first natural instinct is to mock and insult to make themselves feel better.

              • Comment105@lemm.ee
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                24 days ago

                So well mannered and virtuous. Never debasing yourself with such crude, classless humor.

                How fucking noble of you.