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It’s unimaginably hard to process. But it’s a very small solace knowing that I didn’t have to go without knowing for very long. I had to practically drag it out of him. Its scary thinking about if I had found out a month or two down the line, but it’s also kind of reassuring in a way, kind of like ‘I could be hurting wayyyy worse’.
I also think being around people would be helpful for me. Focusing on other social relationships. It’s just personally hard for me to connect with others. Everything I do feels forced. I wish I had let down my guard with others enough to be able have plans with someone every day. This is the goal I will have to focus on from now on so I don’t have to feel this way in the future.
I just had a huge McDonald’s order. I haven’t had McDonald’s in years
It’s so good 😭😩