Unfortunately, I can’t write a full novel about all the nuances of being a parent. If you read my words, I tried to generalize and caveat where possible. I am being very blunt and direct and its not hard to understand that it’s going to piss off someone.

My experience is absolutely not universal. Do you have a brain? Use it. Everything is situational. Adjust your actions accordingly. Be firm and kind but don’t give up and cave to a child’s demands. If you feel the need to judge an entire person by a single comment, you do you.

Too many parents I have seen get stuck in loops of negotiating with their kids and end up getting frustrated and yelling. People make tantrums out to be hyper-complicated when they really aren’t.

Kids, for the most part, are mirrors of the parents behavior. Kids emulate behavior as it’s a key part of development. If parents don’t recognize their own actions and behavior has consequences, then they need to start looking deep.

One child is grown and the other almost is, and I rarely use this instance, btw. A more complete history is on lemmy.ca.

My children are A/B students and think for themselves. I haven’t been angry with my kids in years and only then was it when they did something that potentially caused them harm. They don’t get in trouble or get in fights. Now that the most difficult years of parenthood are over, I get to spoil them a little.

I am an engineer, and have a respectable career. I recognize psychedelics as helpful to society and are 100% legal where I live. Guns are a hobby, not my personality. (My other hobbies are plentiful as well. If you want to learn about electronics, computers, IT security, basic CNC machining, 3D printing, or numerous other topics, let me know!)

I knew it was a matter of time before these quips came up. There is nothing I said that was harmful or even suggested abuse. If parents can’t look at themselves and realize that most of their child’s behavior is a direct result of how the parents themselves behave, well, I can’t help them.

It is absolutely possible to treat the child like a person. My point is that most tantrums are allowed by the parents because of frustration.

The reason for tantrums should be clear as day to the parents. Usually, the kid is wanting something or not wanting to do something badly. Kids are not complex and their basic needs should be second nature to parents by the time they are old enough to throw a tantrum.

When a child is old enough to throw a tantrum, they are able to understand words, generally. IMHO, the parent needs to be firm, not “strict”. Old phrases like “the parents are always right” or “because I said so” should be thrown in the trash where they belong.

For example, when I was at the mall with my first daughter (she was 4, I think.) she threw her first (and last) tantrum in the middle of the crowded mall because she wanted to go into the Disney store as we were leaving. My reaction was quick and firm. I immediately squatted down to her eye level, ensured eye contact and that she was fully focused on me. (Being quick about my response was important.) I explained that throwing a tantrum was not going to help her situation one bit. I didn’t raise my voice or hold her down. I didn’t threaten her with punishment or anything like that. She understood immediately that she did not like my shift into “daddy mode” and the battle was over quicker than it started.

My approach there was to quickly snap the kids attention directly to me. Using words they understand is important, of course, but I explain what they are doing is not right. I have them repeat the point of what I say to make sure they understand it, out loud.

If, by chance, the parent actually doesn’t understand what the child needs, that is a perfect time to ask. Help the child communicate their needs properly.

How that is applied is situational, but the underlying method is the same. Break the endless cycle of the kid saying “but I want” and the parent just saying “no”.

Tantrums are all the same. It’s a pointless escalation of a situation by both the child and the parent.

Neurodivergence is a special case, obviously. However, using distraction and simple logic can help as well. There have been a few tantrums by my nephew I have stopped cold using the same method. It is more challenging because of the needs of the child, but it works.

If kids have any form of tantrum, it’s because the parents let them and cave to the kids “demands”. Kids will keep throwing tantrums if it works.

Edit: You can downvote all you want, but regardless of the situation, if you need to take 3 pointers from an article about “tech tantrums”, there are some more serious issues at play and it’s not an issue with the child.

That press release was so short, it bypassed the paywall. I looked around a bit but couldn’t find which companies had their exports halted. (It hasn’t been released yet?)

The Dread Pirate Roberts reference is from the movie Princess Bride.

Wesley spends years building up an immunity to a fictional substance called “iocaine powder”, the most deadly substance known to man. He tricks a foe into drinking wine laced with it, killing his foe while he survives.

https://princessbride.fandom.com/wiki/Iocaine_powder

Speaking of removed communities, can an admin respond to this please: https://lemmy.world/post/3165787

One would think he would eventually cancel himself.

I am on other instances. The problem is that they are, like it or not, the first impression that new users get of Lemmy and the rest of the federation.

beholden to their guidelines

I am all for that! They need to properly define those guidelines. While it is “their” instance, the intent is for it to be publicly accessible. Continuity with their own guidelines is kind of important to help this space grow as a public instance. I don’t care what those guidelines are, just make them consistent.

The instance is in Germany from what I understand. Regardless, their justification was that shrooms are illegal in most places. That being their main point sets up the contradiction that I am referring to. It casts a bit of doubt on the intent and how to interpret rule 1.

The admins don’t have to abide by their rules, but we do.

No step

It absolutely is not the correct response. LTT and GN are very public and the suggestion to take the conversation private is bad. There is no backroom conversation that can “fix” shitty data.

I agree with Linus taking accountability for publishing bad test results. That is a good thing. Talking shit about GN and refusing to walk back on that is bad. That is unprofessional.

They can do that! As a matter of fact, I support compliance with local regulations.

The problem is, they aren’t. They are picking and choosing laws to follow. Their instance is located in Germany, but yet, their marijuana legalization laws are only in draft: https://www.forbes.com/sites/dariosabaghi/2023/07/10/germany-unveils-draft-bill-to-legalize-cannabis/?sh=5ed53b322726

They are using the justification that “some things are illegal in some countries” as grounds for community suspension, yet, they are picking and choosing.

It’s illegal to talk about piracy and shrooms? I can see posts getting deleted for directly trafficking in pirated stuff or if someone was trying to openly sell sketchy drugs.

Anything that is allowed on this site could be a target for legal action. Even their unverified access to porn is grounds for legal action in most places.

You need to look at the complete picture of the bias that is involved.

Which would prove my point. Lulz.

Hysterical spelling aside for a bit…

Deprogramming one cult with another seems counterproductive.

Shrooms are becoming decriminalized and even legalized across the US now. It’s a shame that the admins banned the community at all on lemmy.world. By their logic, they should also ban marijuana related communities. ItS sTiLl iLleGal!!!

Psilocybin is a very interesting and useful chemical and it is just stupid for it to be censored. What do those admins wish to accomplish? Shhhhhhh! Don’t talk about something that may help with mental disorders or even PTSD. Mushroom bad!

Of all the good things that lemmy.world admins do, this is ranks as one of the dumbest and short sighted.

I will probably start COShroomGrowers. It’s not illegal here and their argument becomes moot.

I have a remarkable connection to reality when I eat mushrooms, it seems. I can just point my brain in a direction and it will go as far as I let it. For me, and I don’t know what to call it, I have an interesting “reality bubble” that I can “stay in” if I desire. It’s a part of my brain that knows that everything I am seeing is not real and where I can make somewhat decent choices if I need. I have a tripping inner dialogue as well as a “normal” internal dialogue that keeps me sane. It’s… Interesting.

If I have a task to do, like drawing something or working in CAD, it will keep my brain somewhat focused albeit with a ton of added flair.

And no, I can’t control all of my thoughts but those still remain somewhat superficial and are not really that intrusive. However, letting my mind go free and letting me think about things from a different perspective is probably the primary reason I trip. My personal mental barriers that I have put up over the years are needing to be torn away so I can become the good person I strive to be and deal with some aspects of my past in a somewhat healthy way. I have no fear of a “bad trip” as I view it as an aspect of my life and personality that needs further exploration.

I should note that I have a very high tolerance and psilocybin is a perfect match for my personality type and brain chemistry. (Weed, for example, gets me super paranoid and is not for me.) I can easily eat 5-10 grams just to get me started and have eaten as much as 20 grams throughout an evening.

Short term memory loss is a thing as well. I can completely forget what it was a wanted to think about, but after a bit, I can usually get focused on something. What usually happens is that my brain figures out the solution to the problem I wanted to think about extremely fast so there is not much to ponder on. :P