for now, alt account when kbin is down

recovering recluse

i think you’re neat

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Joined 5 months ago
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Cake day: June 20th, 2024

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  • You can sort of block publishers/devs, if they have their own “steam page.” If you click on the publisher/dev in the listings underneath review scores, if it takes you to an actual dedicated page you can click the gear icon on the right and click “ignore this creator.”

    This does not completely block them but it has them show up in less places (or are greyed out in some places.) Basically they can pop kinda randomly up in sales when steam forgets to add that, or greyed out in the tabs section on the front page (new and trending, top sellers, popular upcoming tabs)

    It’s not the cure-all “erase EA” button I’m sure we’d all prefer, but it does help a little.


  • agree. my own thoughts:

    if a therapist is ever telling you what you “can’t” do in interpersonal relationships, they’re not doing their job. their job is to guide you towards you building your own best life, to find your own answers in a safe environment, …it is not commanding you to do stuff because they think it’s “right”

    you should be on board with every decision made about you.



  • When Black Birds Fly. It feels an extremely particular type of sick to me. It’s one of my favourite movies, and I haven’t watched it all the way through yet. The rainbow vomit aesthetic of it is, as far as I can tell, unique. Most people hate it.

    It’s also unique in that it’s the only thing I’ve had to stop watching despite being very interested. I’ll finish it fully one day.

    I’ve probably watched other things people would consider more extreme, but for some reason, this one gets to me, in the best way. Not even necessarily just disturbed, also… overwhelmed.

    The horrendous, stilted acting and animation is not accidental, it is a precursor to how nothing in the movie will be comfortable.




  • The dog has swimmer’s syndrome.

    As far as anyone can tell, the original is from a tiktok animal “funny” explotation/abuse account.

    They have several repeat videos of this dog doing the exact same behaviour, they seem to keep them in tiny enclosures, and keep feeding it milk. Milk is not good for dogs, especially not that much. There’s no guarantee that they feed the dogs regularly or humanely.

    It’s difficult to actually tell context because of the nature of these types of channels. Labradors can have food aggression, especially pound dogs, that needs essentially “dog therapy” over time to abate. Considering animal abuse is rampant on the channel in general, I don’t have high hopes here. The channel posting this specific dog over and over does not give context.

    The last few videos with those two dogs does show some progress with the labrador starting to gain walking ability, so maybe they are trying to rehabilitate, but they’re still giving them insane amounts of milk. They don’t look bone thin, exactly. Again, hard to say with no context.

    If there’s an original source with more information, chances are it’s on some website somewhere in chinese, which can be difficult to convince browsers in english to find :/ Language barrier. I’ve spent a few hours looking, including trying reverse image search. I’ve seen this a few times and memeified animal abuse bothers me, so wanted to know if it’s… not. If someone knows actual context with source links, I’d like to know.





  • If I wrote out a list of things I am interested in regarding my appearance that are gendered by society, I would think I was “a girl.” However, in practice, it was incredibly bad for me and being forced as such was a constant drain on me.

    None of these stories are proof, but slowly realizing the sheer number of them from my past did indicate exploring was worthwhile:

    • I could not see myself growing into an old woman. I used to think that was only because I did not think I would live long enough to be as such.
      But the fact is, when first asked about it, the thought of growing into an old man actually sounded a bit nice.
    • I told every boyfriend I have ever had that I “might be trans” and asked them if they’d still stay with me as a man. It was very serious and very nonserious all at the same time.
    • I clung to masculine presentation, even if it often still felt wrong, because “masculine woman” felt closer to the “femme genderfluid man” I somewhat unconsciously wanted to be than “feminine woman.”
    • When I first played a man in a TTRPG game, it was incredibly fun in a way that is hard to describe. Something like, just… comfortable, for the first time.
    • In preschool I demanded that the teachers use a male name and refer to me in character with male pronouns. This was not a one-off occurrence. I was very upset when they did not comply.
    • When I was older, when people mistook me for a man I would feel relief. When they “corrected” themselves I would go back to being miserable.
    • People using “ma’am” on me would make me extremely uncomfortable. Hearing the word “she” used for me made me oddly angry.
    • I hated people looking at me and perceiving me, and, worst of all, desiring me.

    All of these were difficult to see at the time. Difficult to see all at the same time. It is hard to tell if you are miserable when you are constantly miserable. It takes perspective to put it all together. It takes self-examination, experimentation, experience. You are stuck in your own head, after all.

    I did not feel like I was in the wrong body. I felt like I was trapped in expectations of what I could do to my body.

    I won’t regret any of it even if I suddenly decide to “transition back.” My life is a journey and I will do whatever feels right for me. My body is my own. It’s done me so much good to be able to explore who I am.

    My suggestion to those questioning is generally to “try out” your gender of choice somewhere completely inconsequential. Video games, a temporary account, etc. Quietly following trans spaces for a while can give some perspective as well.

    I don’t care if I “know for certain” that I’m trans. I think trying to answer that question as some kind of solid certainty can often run counter to the entirety of being trans.

    I’m happier in a testosterone-based system, I am comfortable in a way that I never was, and life feels like I have a future now. I made changes that made my life better, and only changes that made my life better.

    Trans just happens to be an accurate label. Labels are tools, shortcuts in communication. Not prisons.