I was forced to go to a charismatic church as a kid. We’re talking speaking in tongues, cast out demons, and all that bullshit. As such, The Devil was present in a lot of my childhood fears.

I was convinced I could feel him breathing on my face at night in bed whenever I did something “wrong”.

I hated this Santa Clause decoration that my grandmother hung in my bedroom window every year (we lived in first floor apartment facing the street). When the streetlamp outside of my window hit it at night it looked the head of the Devil in silhouette.

I hated it when my family watched Unsolved Mysteries or things like that because there was always a chance they would do a segment on demonic hauntings or shit like that.

Religious trauma is a hell of a drug.

And I’m a spaceman!

Pretending is fun!

I continue to be surprised that The Simpsons is still on the air. It’s a cliche now to say it hasn’t been good since the late 90s.

A lot of classic black metal and Wisp.

The GOAT.

Ren and Stimpy. I was the strange kid in school, so the show’s gross-out humor and absurdity appealed to my weirdo sensibilities. Finding out John K. is a bastard sexpest definitely tempered my nostalgia a bit.

I’m willing to bet Lewis has some very strong opinions about women, race relations, and video game journalism.

I tried switching to an alum block for those exact concerns. Didn’t work for me and made me actually smell worse than when I forget to put on antiperspirant. I think I’d rather risk cancer and not smell like a pair of used gym shorts.

Shiloh because I fuck with anyone down with Gary Numan.

Those I do know about I heard about through the grapevine or stumbled onto their Facebook profile.

One is a single mother still dressing like a bar star circa 2006 and has kids from like three different dudes. I hope she dies miserable and alone.

Another one joined the military after high school and came out as gay after she left boot. I ran into her once after and she seemed happier. I never took her bullying as seriously as I did the others because it was obvious to me even then that she was dealing with some identity shit. The late 90s wasn’t exactly a friendly time for queer folk and her friends were the small-minded dipshits whose every other word was the F slur or calling something or someone gay in a pejorative sense.

Everyone else ended up dead, a junkie or methhead, or leading lives of mediocrity after peaking in high school. I had one guy try to bully me again at a bar when we were in our 30s. I laughed in his face and told him I wasn’t a timid 14 year old anymore and that I’d happily beat the fuck out of him if he wants to step outside. Dude got real quiet before mumbling about having to work in the morning and left. Bullies will always be cowards at heart.

Okami. That game was an absolute joy to play and the visuals and music were beautiful. My wife even mentioned that I seemed calmer and relaxed while playing it.

Back in my day we drank from the hose if we got thirsty and lined up in the street to get sprayed with DDT and painted our homes with lead. Those were the days!

This isn’t Reddit. You don’t need to try to one-up everyone to feel seen.

No thanks. I’m not interested in giving up what little protection I have from the amoral machinations of tech dudebros and their fucking lackeys in the state.

need further instruction human penis caught in ceiling fan trying to sudo apt-get dog in bathtub

Hold on, I need about 12 minutes to render your video and even then it’s going to be at postage stamp sized resolution and sound like someone stuck a brick in a blender.

I used to write dark ambient and noise records as a hobby. I got some of my best samples from that method.