He had planned to put so much strain on the battery that it would ignite, sending him rocketing off the side of the road until he would jump off of it, momentarily Superman-ing across someone’s lawn while screaming a solid stream of obscenities, then landing in some rose bushes. The bike, meanwhile, was supposed to fly into someone’s front window, setting fire to the structure and putting both Tomshardware and Trek in a legal fight for years.

None of this went as planned. Instead, he rode successfully up the hill. What a disappointment.