When Plato asserted that man was a featherless biped, Diogenes stood, brandished the bald chicken and shouted, “Behold—a man!” Plato, perhaps missing the point of Diogenes’ criticism, then continued to amend his definition to “featherless biped with flat, broad nails.

It has been known for millennia that men are featherless chickens. Get with the program people.