• stoy@lemmy.zip
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    8 months ago

    I get and accept that you may dislike me based on my comments in this thread, I am more confused as to what the lemmy.zip instance has done to dismiss it outright.

    • Adkml [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      8 months ago

      Because everybody makes the same shitty comments and it’s almost more tiring than anything.

      If you so graciuosly “accept that we may dislike you” why can’t you understand we wouldn’t like people like you especially when it’s always the same tired bullshit from people like you.

      • stoy@lemmy.zip
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        8 months ago

        why can’t you understand we wouldn’t like like people like you especially when it’s always the same tired bullshit from people like you.

        Where did this come from?

        I made one post annoyed about the skin color being complained about, I also noted that I hate the word “mansplaining”, the rest of my comments in this thread have been mostly fine.

        So no, I don’t understand the intense dislike for me here, re read my comments and please see if I am so terrible.

        • AOCapitulator [they/them, she/her]@hexbear.net
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          8 months ago

          Someone is telling you there are issues with your posts, you then went looking at your own posts and saying to yourself “no, the rest of these are fine”

          Do you not see the issue here?

          You didn’t know any of them were not fine in the first place, that’s why you posted them, because you were ignorant about the context and implications

          Not an insult, ignorant means you were unaware. Continuing in ignorance after it’s been pointed out, however…

          That’s some dumbass shit right there

          To reiterate: it is almost unbelievible to me that someone could see this situation and genuinely be clueless as to why it matters that the asshole in the post is an old white man.

          That and the fact that hours later you still seem not to grasp why that stance was treated with such hostility, is why we’re treating you with even more hostility

          Because you’re either a lost cause

          or

          you know exactly what you’re doing and you’re doing it on purpose

          • stoy@lemmy.zip
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            8 months ago
            1. Yes I do believe that most of what I posted here is fine apart from two comments.

            2. Ignorant is often used as an insult, but I se and concede your point.

            3. I am annoyed at the post talking about skin color when it wasn’t needed to make the point. I suppose I get pissed off since I am a white man who tries his best and get lumped in with this shit, I remember back ten years ago when femenists talked about ceyibg men and how they were drinking male tears, I webt through a very tough period of time then and cried a lot, and I guess I took and still take it a bit too personal.

            4. I am fine with a bit of hostillity, but do get extra annoyed when people just assume the worst and come in all guns blazing taking everything I say as being completely terrible and decide I am a horrible person.

              • stoy@lemmy.zip
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                8 months ago

                Thank you, am glad we at least can see eachother as people and not just trolls trying to mess with eachother

                  • stoy@lemmy.zip
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                    8 months ago

                    Try to keep that in mind, and I will try to keep in mind that some comments are just too much work to post.

                    Well the time is almost 23:15, gotta get to sleep so I can get up and wash my very dirty car tomorrow, have a great weekend!

        • Adkml [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          8 months ago

          Take a look at the fucking thread and note the thirty other identical comments all being as intentionally totally stupid and ignorant as you are.

          That where the hostility comes from. You assholes constantly making the same dogshit excuses for having the exact same political beliefs as chuds but still acting morally superior to people who don’t reflexively get offended if somebody dares criticize some old white asshole.

          If you still don’t understand why the smug sanctimonious asshole being an old white dude and is relevant to women’s experience I stem please for the love of God at least shit the fuck up and stop feigning ignorance. It’s really obvious at this point nobody’s going to change your mind because you’re determined to disregard anything that criticizes white hegemony. Just like the chuds you love yo look down on while having the exact same belief system.

        • Kuori [she/her]@hexbear.net
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          8 months ago

          I made one post annoyed about the skin color being complained about, I also noted that I hate the word “mansplaining”

          nobody needed to see more than this to know you weren’t worth their time

          • stoy@lemmy.zip
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            8 months ago

            Anyone that easily offended that they won’t even consider asking why is probably not someone I would stand anyway.

              • stoy@lemmy.zip
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                8 months ago

                While I am in general a huge advocate for men to feel safe to cry without ridicule and have cried a lot during heavy depression, I see no reason to do so now.

                What the broken cracker means, I have zero idea, so I googled “anti cracker aktion” and only got result about campaigns to ban firecrackers, which seems perfectly resonable, but I suspect it means something different here.

    • Stoneykins [any]@mander.xyz
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      8 months ago

      It happens to be an instance federated with several idealogy-heavy instances, while itself being a general use instance with simple account creation procedures.

      It makes it a popular choice for people who want to make multiple accounts for trolling, as well as people who have unpopular (as far as lemmy goes) ideologies. You can hopefully understand the kind of friction that could create and the reputation is the outcome.

      You probably could have figured this out yourself if you just… Looked around. You shouldn’t expect people who are in disagreement with you to explain everything.

      • stoy@lemmy.zip
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        8 months ago

        Ok, I can sort of see your explanation, but I disagree with you on the fact that other people should not be expected to explain their viewpoints to a person they disagree with.

        Not explaining just leads to bickering, with no one getting any point across.

        But if you explain the other party may gain a better understanding.

        • AOCapitulator [they/them, she/her]@hexbear.net
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          8 months ago

          I know what you mean, but also this type of logic is used to fuck with marginalized people, putting the onus on them to stop and explain to their aggressors why what is being done to them is wrong, why they are valid people, to stop and justify your own existence for one who would doubt it

          I know that’s not what you were doing, but that’s what we deal with constantly, and because others in the thread had already gone into detail about why it matters this guy was white and male, I did not need to explain again

          • stoy@lemmy.zip
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            8 months ago

            I get that, but I hoped that my way of posting gave me some benefit of the doubt. (:

            • AOCapitulator [they/them, she/her]@hexbear.net
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              8 months ago

              From my perspective, it actually served to do the opposite. I understand that you’re posting in good faith, but it is, especially at first, indistinguishable from the kinds I was describing

        • Stoneykins [any]@mander.xyz
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          8 months ago

          Maybe there is some hypothetical moral ideal on how people should behave in internet disagreements but I’m just trying to get you to be more realistics lmao

          • stoy@lemmy.zip
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            8 months ago

            I am a realist, which is why I am trying show that I am no troll the only way I can, by trying to have a polite conversation.

            Though I am starting to get the picture that some people who still are downvoting me would rather see me insulting and crapping sll over the thread, which just reenforce the importance of not doing that.

            • Stoneykins [any]@mander.xyz
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              8 months ago

              Honestly you aren’t even the worst in this thread but you did kinda open the door to some shit

              Not that I don’t think you’re dumb as bricks for your “what does skin color have to do with this” comment. You should know damn well what skin color has to do with this

              • stoy@lemmy.zip
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                8 months ago

                That’s fair, like I said, I got mildy annoyed, and never expected this entire conversation

                • AOCapitulator [they/them, she/her]@hexbear.net
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                  8 months ago

                  I’m pretty sure you’re genuine, and if that is the case, I hope you will be able to figure out why you were lumped in with the rest, and hope it doesn’t happen again because you learn the lesson

                  Also, I will definitely admit that I was very annoyed and could have been nicer about it,and on the off chance you’re actually genuine hey sorry. But that’s not the important thing, ‘being nicer about it’ is a personal decision not a moral necessity. The “it” we’re being “nicer” about is often something horrifying, like when people got upset at Aaron Bushnell for his self immolation, who were more upset about THAT than they are about what’s happening to innocent bystanders in Palestine. No one is required to put up with someone’s bullshit just for the purpose of helping them learn and grow. Its good to do in the few times when that is possible…

                  but here?

                  on the internet? Its 1/1000 interactions where that’s possible, and 1/2 of the time we’re dealing with actual nazis and people who support and encourage systems that target us for extermination, us being any marginalized identities, which hexbear mostly is in one way or another, not just because we’re leftists, but also most are trans and/or queer and/or poc and/or neurodivergent etc etc. We have been around for years and over those years, have grown to recognize civility bullshit for what it always was. And recognize what it means when people are upset about criticism of privileged behavior that demonstrate the contradictions inherent to our current system. To see that an not react harshly against it is no different than contributing to it yourself

                  To hear incorrect views without rebutting them and, but instead to take them calmly as if nothing had happened.

                  That’s why many people in this thread reacted negatively to the comments we did. Clear enough?

                  • stoy@lemmy.zip
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                    8 months ago

                    After reading about why .zip can be seen as bad, I do understand it better, I genuinely didn’t know about the reputation of the instance.

                    Learned my lesson?

                    I have gained more understanding, but there was no lesson to be learned here.

            • Adkml [he/him]@hexbear.net
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              8 months ago

              You are in no way a realist you are actually being a pedantic pain in the ass doing an extreme amount of work to not understand really obviously apparent realities, starting with why you got offended somebody would call out old white assholes and then with the following 20 questions where you’re being intentionally obtuse while acting like you have the moral high ground.