• Apytele@sh.itjust.works
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    8 months ago

    I have a lot of really REALLY fucked up ones. I’m an acute inpatient psych nurse but I’ve also had 4x inpatient stays of my own so I have a bunch of jokes that would leave my patients AND my coworkers speechless.

    “Well I had a nuchal cord x4 (umbilical cord wrapped around the neck 4 times) so if you think about it, I’ve actually been trying to kill myself longer than I’ve been alive.

    “So then they restrained me and gave me a B10&4 (twice the amount of medication usually given for agitation) and I woke up in a state hospital with my back seized up from the Haldol and anyway that’s how I found out they were hiring!” 🎉

    “I’m almost definitely more suicidal than my patient right now.” - Me (who’s had chronic low-grade suicidal ideation since I was like 12, sitting “suicide watch” on a patient who most likely just said they were suicidal so they didn’t freeze to death overnight on the street. Honestly I respect the hustle, if the psych hospital counts as comfortable to you I probably don’t even wanna know what your other option was. The mental health crisis in America won’t go anywhere until the housing one does).