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All the workers have forearm tattoos
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At least 3 people are wearing beanies in the middle of summer
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Bacon is $4 extra
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The burger comes out on a bun drenched in butter and is so greasy/oily that halfway through it may as well have been served in a bowl
It’s also a dry pretzel bun
The biggest disappointment
Also:
- The waiter has a twirled moustache and wears a mesh shirt combined with a bowler hat
- The $4 extra bacon is burned to charcoal strips
God I wish my wish waiter wore a mesh shirt, where the hell is this?
In a place where touching the waiters is not included, sorry ;)
Drinks are served in jars, and your fries, well, you get 8 fries in a rusty old can.
The place is being run by 3 bearded lumbersexuals in flannel and ball caps having the time of their lives and a chick in overalls and her hair in a bandanna who could not be more over it.
A guy is laying in the corner working on his MacBook wearing those brown Marshall headphones
Also the heat is cranked up uncomfortably high. The air is muggy. The whole place smells of onion.
The sound is provided entirely by a neglected Technics 1200 that nobody knows how to adjust accept the barback that only works on Wednesdays and Fridays.
At this point pretty much all BOH staff in any resto are packing tons of tats. Probably easier to count the ones who don’t
I hat that brushed butter bullshit. If you want a butter burger, it goes on the hamburger patty,
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I hate those fucking stools. I swear they were invented to be so uncomfortable that once you’ve choked down that mediocre overpriced burger you want to leave as soon as possible because your ass hurts.
Getting people to leave quickly allows more people to enter, which means more burgers served.
always order everything to go and take it home and eat it in the comfort of my own bed.
restaurants are so uncomfortable.
What’s wrong with you 😧
When you eat so many luxury burger that you can only afford a studio, there isn’t any other seating than bed.
Remember to get an avocado toast side
nothing?
You eat in your bed? Ngl that is nasty
Don’t worry, they mean the bed of their truck. The airflow at highway speeds ensure all crumbs are carried away immediately!
In what way?
Genuinely curious if it’s because you might get food in bed or the act of eating where you sleep?
100% because of mess
They’re shitty amazon order stools I bet.
I assume they got them cheap when a school science lab was upgrading to something made this century
How the fuck do you even
The first thing you have to do is
Manage to price tater tots at 1 dollar
Then what you do is
Why is this so accurate
Half of the “artisan” burger chains in my city are marginally better than a fast-food chain. One, maybe two of them make burgers so good that they’re worth the occasional splurge.
There’s a BBQ place near me, and I ordered tater tots there once, as a side. They were $4. They literally gave me 4 tater tots. They were one dollar apiece.
There are two types of BBQ places; stingy, overpriced, gourmet bullshit with barely any sauce and greasy, messy, heart stopping heaven. The former always pretends to be the latter.
There’s also Mission BBQ which is stingy, overpriced, overly-sweet non-gourmet bullshit with jingoistic pro-military support-the-troops bullshit thrown in for good measure.
Don’t forget the right-wing “we’re ignoring mask mandates in the height of the pandemic and not limiting seating because we’re god-fearin’ 'mercans here!” bullshit.
I ordered a gyro with a side of onion rings (the onion rings alone were $7) from a local place to take home. When I got home and opened the box of onion rings, I saw there were only six small (like, 1.5" in diameter) onion rings in the too-large box - more than a dollar per tiny ring. Next time I went I complained about the onion rings and they showed me the menu which said “6 onion rings” in the item description albeit in a tiny font. Like, they knew what complete and utter bullshit it was so they had to have something legal to fall back on.
“Bro, we told you we were bullshitting you, right there in the sign. That means we’re not at fault”
Fuck that shit.
This meme is either very old or was made by someone in the midwestern US (always years behind on fads).
All of the bistro burger joints have gone the way of the dinosaur in my neck of the woods. Now it’s all smash burger fast food knock offs.
Nah, I got take out 3 burgers in SF area for 60 bucks in a place that looked like this and offered 6$ fries. Wtf
I can’t think of any neighborhood in SF where I’d choose one of these places over literally anywhere else. Too much good cheap food here.
Scammed.
What??? San Francisco has expensive food? That’s simply not believable
ScamFrancisco
Taphouse/brewery has replaced the bistro burger joints that couldn’t survive covid.
The places I see like this that are still around are moreso just generic American food :tm:. They sell more than just burgers, but the burgers are stupid expensive
I mean… Most of the places near me a burger with a sides is typically like $13 - $16 and I am definitely in the Midwest…
This meme is so old it’s kid is the hostess at a burger joint like this
its* kid is the hostess
That’s great news, right?
Why do coastal cities always do this shit? At least in the midwest, a person is more likely to come up with a good plan and keep it going long term.
Midwest is always about 4 years behind coastal City trends.
That misses the entire point of what i said, in order to just repeat the previous statement.
They serve “local IPA” on draft for $11 or, ironically, a miller high life for a dollar.
And it’s always warm
I literally just opened a place like this lmao
Good luck, honestly.
$22.50 is a lot for a burger, but I’ve had some burgers that price that are life changing.
Mine are 17 but have a literal 3/4 lb (smoked) patty and 2 strips of real good old fashioned bacon, two fried texas garlic toasts for a “bun”, the real fancy french mustard and my house sauce, the best pickles ever, 5 onion rings but no side. I can do this because I’m a bar in the middle of nowhere, not in a major city with staff and massive expenses.
but no side
You included all the sides on the burger!
What’s the calorie count on that!?
As I’m asking this nonsense question, I’m thinking of the punch burger commercial from the parks and rec show where they say who cares, put it in your body!
Ok apparently roughly 850 calories for the hamburger, 175 for the toast, 150 for the onion rings, 10 calories for the mustard, 100 calories for the special sauce going by the mayo base for 3 tbsps, 200 for the cheese and roughly 150 for the bacon. So…1700 calories at a minimum.
LOL, that’s awesome. Almost an entire days worth of calories. Sounds delicious. You printing the calories on the menu?
This is the Parks and Rec Ponch burger this reminds me of. “Put it in your body or you’re a nerd!”
There’s a place called Bub’s burgers where they do a 1lbs burger challenge. They’re actually pretty good too. Not sure about how it compares nationally.
No, not on the menu. I don’t actually eat like this myself, I’m a big dude, used to work the rigs, trades, cowboy, etcetera. I couldn’t get through half one of these monstrosities i make if I even try. Probably how I stayed reasonably thin when I was a trucker. Been cooking long enough to know what tastes good, I had owned this bar half a year before I even tried the burgers I was making people. When i do make myself hamburger, it’s like a quarter pound patty by itself and i just fork n knife it with some spicy sauce, or maybe with gravy.
Ha, thanks. Now I don’t feel as dumb for chucking the bread.
Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
This is the Parks and Rec Ponch burger this reminds me of.
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I honestly have no idea. Lots?
But do you serve it on a plate? Be honest.
yes. You can search facebook for the Lucky Loon Saloon of Tompkins, Saskatchewan for more details, there’s pictures of it, on a plate.
Tompkins, Saskatchewan
Ohhhh you’re near Medicine Hat and the highway. That kinda makes sense now.
That’s right. Stop in for a burger, I’m open Tuesday to Sunday 1130 am to late. Tuesdays are beer n a burger 20 bucks, Thursdays 11 dollar wings (30+ flavours).
That’s a shame, I prefer my burgers served on a snow shovel
I mean I have a snow shovel, and ten percent bleach solution. Always willing to accommodate.
Best of luck!
That sounds like a great burger.
RIP??
Not Bay Area is it?
I love the federation sometimes.
Holy shit his is accurate, wtf lol
Cheese:
American $1
Cheddar $2
Smoked Gouda $3
Isn’t American cheese just cheddar cheese with some extra flavoring?
American is typically more mild in taste and smoother than cheddar; unless we are talking Kraft Singles American, which is a smoother or creamier cheddar.
I thought it was cheddar diluted in some chemicals and milk to improve flavor and to lower the melting point.
It does have emulsifiers and other dairy products in it. It has a higher moisture content, which the emulsifiers help to hold in suspension with the cheese. Without the emulsifiers the cheese would leak water/fluid out and the shelf life would be considerably shortened. The emulsifiers used are very common in many foods from almond milk to soft drinks.
All I know is that it is technically speaking real cheese (which is surprising).
Also serving it on anything but a plate.
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To be fair, Five Guys is every bit as expensive. But I’ll take Five Guys over most of those places anyway. Free peanuts is tempting.
Five guys will let you fuck your burger up with 12 toppings tho. Better value proposition
Five guys will let you fuck your burger
This echos my last five guys in restaurant people watching experience.
Please no one prompt this to an image generating model
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Five guys is a $15 burger with no sides place not a $20 burger with no sides place.
That’s also $15 with the option of every topping known to man ,and if you do add sides theyre enough for a meal on their own.
Man. Maybe I’m lucky, but the five guys near me is 11.29 for a full sized cheeseburger with no sides. 12.69 is the most expensive one with bacon but I usually just do the little one which is 8.79.
They do charge an arm and a leg for the fries, though. Which I guess is to be expected since their measurements for a small fry is “all of them”
Have I just gone to a bad Five Guys? I went to one once last year and the burger was mediocre at best and the fries were greasy to the point of being sickening. I haven’t gone back since.
you defo went to a bad 5 guys, I’ve been to st least 6 different locations and have never been disappointed in the experience
I’ll gladly put Five Guys in my mouth for the price they ask. Plus all the nuts you could want.
Denim aprons denim aprons denim aprons
We have this exact hanging lamp at home from Amazon lol
How much for a burger
One bussy and penetrative cuddling.
that’s not a home, my friend. you’re living in a restaurant!
i wish
That’s the exact point lol. These restaurants are trying to feel more “homey” and “rustic” so they can feel more justified when they’re upcharging their mediocre food.
And the word “Offerings” will appear on the menu
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What cured him?
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I used to do drugs. I mean, I still do them, but I used to do them too.
