By god so many of the recipes fucking suck because they presuppose I have any fucking idea what “firm enough” or “until it’s pliable enough” or whatever means.

While this used to (well, still does but less so) really get on my nerves, and is legitimately unhelpful in some cases (my biggest beef with any recipe is the measurement “two good handfuls” for tomatoes), there’s a bunch where “until the vibes are right” really is the most accurate instruction. You either have to find someone with the experience to do it with you and show you the right vibes, or experiment to find them on your own. Dough is the probably the worst offender, too.

Also, it sounds like you have a tremendously shitty oven. If preheated, a convection oven definitely has no problem with browning most dishes in half an hour. A gas oven might not be as good, but it shouldn’t double the cooking time.