I wish I could remember exactly some of what the said. It was something like “The stock market is up and that’s important if…” and he said something about retired people. I wanted him to say “portfolio” very badly because it’s the sort of joke I would write and put in the mouth of an MSNBC talking head. I almost convinced myself he actually did say it.

I only watch the news on pirate streams so there’s no way for me to go back and check get it verbatim. I’m now convincing myself that he did say portfolio. Well, I’ll pretend that he did.