• Kainsley@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    12
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    1 year ago

    I can see that in your first comment, but all the responses after that definitely come across as needlessly confrontational and I can’t see how you feel that’s being “understanding” personally.

    That said, it’s all good.

    • iterable@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      4
      arrow-down
      16
      ·
      1 year ago

      Can you explain how they are confrontational? I do like debating but I do not intend to anger anyone.

      • Kainsley@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        18
        ·
        edit-2
        1 year ago

        Sure,

        Lots of replies which don’t actually address or respond to comments but rather attempt to put the other person down, example:

        Attacking people’s replies but then suggesting they replied to the wrong person (which one is it?)

        Attacking someone’s language/typing skills instead of responding.

        Suggesting anyone who disagreed with you are “behaving like redditors”

        These little put downs come across as attempting to belittle the person you’re replying to and is a common way to “win a debate” by discouraging the other person from replying, in the absence of actually having a discussion.

        • iterable@sh.itjust.works
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          2
          arrow-down
          23
          ·
          edit-2
          1 year ago

          I have no intention of winning anything. I am a IT and guess direct and to the point. Sometimes just being inquisitive. Though I do notice many over the last year have gotten more aggressive for just asking. I still don’t see a issue with my statements. How are we suppose to understand each other if we don’t ask questions?

          • Kainsley@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            17
            arrow-down
            1
            ·
            edit-2
            1 year ago

            But that’s the point, you aren’t actually engaging in the discussion, your questions aren’t on topic but are more rhetorical attacks on personality.

            If someone at work speaks to you in broken English and your response is “is English even your first language” instead of responding to their comment, then your next conversation would be with HR.

            Break it down what are you trying to achieve with that question and how does that add value to the discussion?

            • iterable@sh.itjust.works
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              3
              arrow-down
              22
              ·
              edit-2
              1 year ago

              The way you said it yes. Look at my reply I did not say “even” which made the statement negative. Please quote me properly.

              • Kainsley@lemmy.world
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                18
                arrow-down
                1
                ·
                edit-2
                1 year ago

                Perfect encapsulation of my point.

                Apologies for misquoting you, but the correct quote is equally disingenuous and your attempt to turn my reply into an attack on character instead of answering the question is exactly why you’re being downvoted.

                You come across as a person who looks for the negative in everything and doesn’t actually want to engage but rather make yourself feel superior, but that generally doesn’t work outside of traditional social media. I bet you’re a joy to work with /s. Have a good day.

                • iterable@sh.itjust.works
                  link
                  fedilink
                  English
                  arrow-up
                  3
                  arrow-down
                  19
                  ·
                  1 year ago

                  You misquoted me. Are you saying it was wrong to defend myself? You seem to only see negative in a lot of statements. My original statement was straight and to the point. How would you ask someone? Or would you choose not to know and just try and wing it?

                  • Kainsley@lemmy.world
                    link
                    fedilink
                    English
                    arrow-up
                    14
                    arrow-down
                    1
                    ·
                    edit-2
                    1 year ago

                    What are you defending yourself from? No one’s attacking you… you asked me why I felt your comments came across that way and I replied. The misquote changes nothing, you still wouldn’t ask someone if English is their first language and ignore the comment, to suggest so is clearly ingenuous.

                    Like I said, you come across as someone who sees the negatives. It looks to me like you think everyone is attacking you and are therefore responding defensively, which then comes across as aggressive.

                    To answer your question, how would I ask someone? I wouldn’t, it’s obviously irrelevant, as is this discussion at this point.

                    As I said, have a good day.