Have we really become so unempathetic as a society that the act of putting yourself in others’ shoes is unbelievable to the point that people assume you must be part of the group you’re defending? So I often see people being unfairly discriminatory and mean to certain types, attributes or qualities of people, which I know some would be offended and hurt by. But whenever I stick up for them, I get comments like this: “Tell me you’re x without telling me you’re x”. “F*** off, x”. A good example is gay people or trans people. I get heavily criticised for defending them and people immediately assume that I’m gay or trans just because I’m expressing that I empathise with how they’re treated in society and think people should be kinder toward them. There are lots of other examples but I’m worried I’ll be antagonised here just by saying them, so I picked some slightly more socially acceptable ones (yes there are some far less socially acceptable things than LGBT these days, in my experience, despite the rampant LGBTphobia).
1: It’s extremely common for people to be biased in favour of a group they’re part of, since they benefit from that support.
2: It’s also extremely common for group members to pretend to be outsiders when supporting their group, precisely because of (1). “Oh well, if this person is supporting the group despite being an outsider, they must be super-altruistic, and therefore their cause must be super-righteous.”
3: If a group meets with widespread disapproval, then one way to silence external support for it is accusing the supporter of (2) - suggesting that not only are they one of the hated group, and also showing how dishonest the group members truly are.
4: Dunking on out-group members - especially via (3) - strengthens the bond of the in-group.
And 5), calling shitty people out on their shit… really pisses them off, so they get nasty in response.