Hey everyone,
I [28F] need some advice on handling anxiety when job hunting.
Almost a week ago I finished school and I’m once again without work. I’ve been job hunting about 40-50% of my adult life and it has taken a huge toll on my mental health to the point where I’m barely able to apply for jobs anymore. I have gotten a few warnings over the years due to not applying to enough jobs. ( I live in Sweden btw )
I have tried taking breaks.
I have tried waiting for the anxiety to pass.
I have asked so many for advice but it’s like they all give the same default answer. If their advice where enough, I would be a pro at job hunting.
I did get an autism diagnosis a few years back and I do feel better about myself, more confident and understanding of how I work so I think this time around will be different, but it’s like the old anxiety still hangs around and I don’t know how to get rid of it.
Please if you have any advice, I’d love to hear it.
Oh that is pretty good! I thought it would be a lot more worse.
It is much easier to buy an apartment, I have never rented because of that. I went for a new built apartment so I didn’t even need to fight for it haha. The queue system that is the hardest is for Stockholm stad where ppl sign up the day they turn 18. There are many others. Like HSB, where you save up points to be used for buying or renting. My Friends have mostly got a first hand contract but some got a second hand and then used that time to find a first hand and some just make sure they are in a relationship at all times 😂
my understanding is that if you got time then you can find a first hand contract but if you are a bit more in a hurry is second hand a lot more common. If you have someone who can “gå i borgen” for you then that will also help out a lot. I save money at hsb so if I ever want to buy anything from them or rent in the future then I can do that. Plus hsb is everywhere and seem to be the easiest to be apart of, but so far do I like where I live and I don’t think I will move unless I need to get something bigger :D and also once you got a first hand contract or your own apartment are you all set. I have many friends who rent who trade their apartments for something else when needed so they don’t have to stand in the queue again.
Yea we have those kind of ppl too. We recently moved and they started using the new office (it is not done yet) the day they had access even tho it is so messy right now, like some rooms have no lamps for example 😂
ooh I see, I never knew it was easier to buy, and it can’t be hard to sell in such a big city, right? So that won’t be a huge risk.
I should check if I can get a loan for an apartment and how that works.
ooh I see, well if I move to Stockholm or Gothenburg it will probably be pretty fast as it’s for a job unless I can work from home the first month or so. I will look into HSB too, I have a list with housing queues too. I like lists…
Smart to trade apartments! You know a lot about this.
ahaha omg maybe that’s a bit too much even for me! It must be hard to concentrate in that environment!
Depending on where the apartment is ofc but in general is it very easy to sell. The apartments haven’t really changed much in prices either compared to houses so it is pretty stable.
I think the hardest part in all of this is finding something you like, how far away from the inner city, supermarkets, parks, entertainment, busses, subways, and so on are you ok with and also how much you are willing to pay. Also having a car here can be very expensive because of parking and “tull”. But you also have everything close by plus you can buy heavy stuff off the internet. I will never try to take home cat sand if i buy more than 8kg, it is a workout on its own even tho it isn’t far 😂
My observation of why ppl say it is hard to rent is because they go to bostadsföreningen and never look anywhere else plus they also do not want to pay x amount and wish to live in the inner parts and I think most who have problems getting an apartment is pretty young too and do not have the money or the job for it. But I am speculating. If you want to rent look for private listings too that is my tips. They will be a bit more pricy per month tho.
I think the reason it is easier to find something to buy is because the regulations. I have heard it is hard to get permission to rent out because of it. But I haven’t read much into it but I think it makes a lot of sense if you look at the market for apartments, a lot more is for sale than for renting.
I have a friend whose old company “rent” him an apartment. The good thing is that he lived there for “free” the bad thing was when he wanted to leave and study for something else. He was stuck with that job until he found a new place.
I am pro buying because it is a lot easier and a lot of new apartments are being built every year. It is also easier to find something you actually like, just go to hemnet and you will have so many pages to click through haha.
Haha yea I won’t go there until it is actually done. They put up pictures of the progress and there are many worker there putting everything together haha
Yeah I can imagen that is hard, combined with a reasonable price. I haven’t had a car in years and it’s actually pretty nice as it’s easy to rent one when I need a car. There are two things I do miss, the spontaneous part of owning a car, I can just go if I want to, and I miss being able to do weekly or monthly grocery shopping.
I do like to rent as if something breaks it’s not my responsibility, but I also never had a lot of money so I can’t just buy a new stove if it breaks or so. It might be a question about money…
ooh that makes me think of those work towns in America, companies own whole towns, so in order to live there you or the person you live with will have to work at that company.
I love scrolling through Hemnet, so many pretty homes, and some are really unique. Love it.
Yea but it is not a problem I just buy everything off the internet if it is too heavy to carry or just annoying to carry like big packages of toilet papers. but I do like to walk to the store and do my weekly shopping. I just take a backpack with me and what doesn’t fit will I carry in my hands. Sometimes do I use my scooter if I don’t feel like being healthy 😂
Car pool or renting is common here, but nobody really wants to drive in Stockholms inner city. Bikes are very common too. We have okaish bike lanes. Some streets are better than others.
Haha oh yea, I have heard of those. Crazy stuff.
Yea I like checking now and then to see what stuff is worth. It is also cool to see what kind of furniture and wall decoration ppl got. Both has changed a lot over the years. But white will always be the default color for everything except the bed room it seems 😂
Hahaha yes, it’s really nice to get stuff to the door! Speaking of that, I need to order “litter pellets” for my cats.
It’s good to be able to tho, nice for longer trips or if you need to go to the veterinary or stuff like that. I can imagine, I’ve driven on the outskirts of Gothenburg and a couple of times in Oslo. It’s a whole other thing than driving in smaller towns.
White is soooo boring tho. I mean, I understand why people light bright walls, but why not go for pastels or something? Or accent walls, I like accent walls.
Had to check the difference between the two: Pellets vs clay litter Pellets seem to be a lot of work, how does that work for you? I clean my cats litter box 3 (sometimes 4) times a day would it be annoying cleaning pellets that many times? Do you need to clean it as often? Do your cats like it? My cat wants to be able to to dig. He digs a lot.
Oh yea that helps. If I had kids I would buy a house and a car. Or buy an apartment with a parking lot included (or a reasonable price). Mine doesn’t have one, you need to pay for parking in a multi-storey car park and it is pretty price and there are no parking spots outside close by that is for longer than 4 hours.
The good thing about white tho is that you can go crazy with the furniture because white works with all colors and won’t remove focus from things like paintings. But you can’t have white furniture and white walls it will just be a cold boring room. I had a friend who had everything in white, even her clock, it was so unsettling and I don’t know why. Maybe because it was hard to see what was in there?
White stuff that should be “invisible” is great for white walls. You can have the white “solstickan” fire extinguisher and the white fire blanket on the wall in the living room in clear sight (for times in need) without gaining any focus unless it is needed. I don’t even think about it. It is almost like it isn’t there. Same with my white robot vacuum cleaner, it just blends in. But i would never want white floor tho. That is a big no. I love wood especially dark wood.
But yes white can be very boring. Especially if you got boring furniture.
I like accent walls that has a lot of texture in them like wood (you didn’t see that coming huh? ;) ) or are almost like a painting like a mural but calming like this or something less abstract like this or this one i could actually have this in my bedroom, this will be the last one i really like the colors, super calming but i think i rather have it as a big painting not a whole wall painting haha
It is very important to me to feel calm at home. So no busy things and everything needs a practical use or at least serve a purpose like my cats cat tree, I could had just let him have a cat scratching post or let him go for my furniture but he really likes to be high up and somewhere where he can see me at all times otherwise he will follow me like to the toilet. He wont let me be by myself for long xD
We really went off topic btw, didn’t realize until now, we have our own small chat “room” haha
It’s not a lot of work, often you just scoop out the poop, similar to how you scoop a litterbox while the pee crumbles and falls to the bottom (you practically use two stacked boxes with holes in the top one), I clean my litterbox once a day and then empties the bottom part every 2-3 days. I sometimes wipe the bottom with baby wipes (great for cleaning). I have two cats.
My cats didn’t really like it but after mixing it in with the sand for weeks I went cold turkey and just replaced the sand with pellets and that went fine, I have a pretty thick layer, around 10cm that they dig around in.
Wow, that is really not meant to have cars. That sucks.
woah, that does sound unsettling with everything in white, it’s worse than a hospital!
I’ve always been a bit confused about that, having emergency stuff in white. But it’s still easy to see?
I have a small fire extinguisher that stands in the hallway.
Wood is nice in so many ways, it’s always unique, durable, and pretty colors. I want as much wood as possible haha
Wow, all of those walls are so beautiful!, e-ink is really starting to be well developed with clear colors pretty much like a photo, and that could easily be used as a picture frame or accent wall and it won’t use electricity at all.
I agree, my home is my sanctuary.
I think it’s okay we went of topic a bit 😅
EDIT: I forgot to check the pellets vs clay link and it seems correct. I’d say the pellets are cheaper, sure a bag of pellets costs around 100kr but I need a new one every 3 months or so.
You would want a litterbox like this for easier cleaning and protip; but an old newspaper in the bottom.
I was very close to buy that but got cold feet. And I recently (maybe a year ago) bought a very good litter box because he pee so weird. I think he stands up completely so he peed often outside and after years of cleaning the floor did I give up and found a great one with walls that have like a bag you can lift up when you need to change out all the litter and clean it up. Plus he liked it right away. And right now do I have 32 kg of cat litter (clay) so I need to use that first 😂 But if I go for the gun then I will remember your tip. That comment has now been saved.
You can see it but it is blending in very well so I don’t have to stare at it. I kinda get distracted by things that stickout. I would only let it in into my living room in a dark blue (only because that is my favorite color) if not white 😂
Here you can see it. And yes I took this while laying in my sofa 😂
The pros with it being there instead of the hallway is that the toilet and the hallway is the only two rooms it isn’t as accessible to it. That wall is the middle of my living room and the door there is to my bedroom. So if I wake up to a fire or if I am cooking and need it then I can just run there in a few steps. My sister was nagging me with not putting it in hallway so I got a white one in my living room :D
Yes I wish I had more furniture in “naked” wood, not painted but the wallet said no when I moved, like that vitrinskåp, i got it dirty cheep second hand and it works really well. I don’t think it will ever go bad. So far have I only changed the handles. But at least my two desks are in darkwood haha
Plus my kitchen became the light side/space and my living room the dark side. That chair is like the line between dark and light and in front of it is my cats plywood cat tree with gray “pillows”. This description sounds a bit edgy but it isn’t like that 😂
Oh yea! There is a car (but I think it is more like proof of concept) that has eink all over it so you can change the color and pattern. But only in the gray color scale.
I have an ebook that I bought when I went to uni, that one sucks compare to the stuff we have now! I saw an e notebook that you could draw in with colors. Looked amazing! And apparently does it feel like paper!!! How cool is that?! I almost wanted to buy it but reminded myself that I only take notes for/at interviews or when I need to do some simple drawings to get my point accros. I can’t say I do any of them often 😂 Usually I use my computer when I take notes. I am much faster at typing.