Hey everyone,
I [28F] need some advice on handling anxiety when job hunting.
Almost a week ago I finished school and I’m once again without work. I’ve been job hunting about 40-50% of my adult life and it has taken a huge toll on my mental health to the point where I’m barely able to apply for jobs anymore. I have gotten a few warnings over the years due to not applying to enough jobs. ( I live in Sweden btw )
I have tried taking breaks.
I have tried waiting for the anxiety to pass.
I have asked so many for advice but it’s like they all give the same default answer. If their advice where enough, I would be a pro at job hunting.
I did get an autism diagnosis a few years back and I do feel better about myself, more confident and understanding of how I work so I think this time around will be different, but it’s like the old anxiety still hangs around and I don’t know how to get rid of it.
Please if you have any advice, I’d love to hear it.
I used to get crazy nervous during interviews. I’d forget the most basic things, my legs would literally shake when asked to do demos (very typical during interviews in my profession). I then had an opportunity to interview for a job I did not need and wasn’t even sure that I wanted. That was the most relaxed interviewing experience I have ever had and I’ve tried to recapture that ever since with various degrees of success.
Before the interview I psych myself up with mantras like “They are not interviewing you, you are interviewing them.” or “‘I’m not sure, I’ll have to look into that and get back to you’ or even ‘I don’t know’ is an acceptable answer.” “Relax, breathe, and be yourself. It’s only a conversation.” type of things.
That with some slow breathing exercises right before going in really helped. Maybe something similar would help you?
I’ve always hated interviews, especially as you say, when I want the job I can barely do the interview and when I don’t really care, it goes almost smooth as butter. Which is the opposite of what everyone tells you to do, kinda.
I’ve also realized I’ve probably misunderstood some questions, you know the classic “Where do you see yourself in x years?” previously I would always talk about getting a house and dogs and a nice garden… That is not what they meant but I never dared to ask.
I like to think that “misunderstanding” questions means they did not ask a clear questing and so any fault would fall on them, not me.
The example you gave is also a horrible question. Where do most people want to be in 10 years? Probably financially independent pursuing personal passions without managerial oversight. It’s as annoying a question to me as “Why do you want to work here?” The same reason anybody wants any job, because I have bills I need to pay. They should be telling me why I should want to work for them. Both of those questions are red flags for me. Maybe the person is just not good at interviewing, or maybe it’s a toxic work environment that doesn’t value their employees. An interview should be trying to sell the company is me as much as I am trying to sell myself to the company. But maybe that is just me.
The fault may fall on them but it becomes my problem as I miss a job opportunity.
I’m definitely going to ask for clarification on what they mean when asking so broad questions.
It’s weird when an employee runs the interview as if this was a persons dream job. I don’t think many companies have that luxury.