• LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    1 year ago

    Nah, men can and do have problems. This post is an example of a man problem. There are people on this post trying to claim that men and women suffer equally in this regard and arguing with people who are pointing out that this is wrong.

    Men suffer from toxic body standards and would greatly benefit from body positivity and better representation in media. But men aren’t (as an entire class of people) getting harassed as 10 year olds by 40 year old men making comments about their bodies. Men aren’t (as an entire class of people) having relatives make open comments about the size of their secondary sex characteristics and their bodies in general. As a class you don’t experience this. Some individuals might, I’ve rarely met women who did not experience body policing from their earliest memories, ive rarely met women who have never experienced sexual harassment. The statistics are crystal clear in this regard.

    Again, body positivity and better representation for diverse body types would be great for men too. No one is saying otherwise. Even that isn’t enough for women, because institutional misogyny exists at all levels of society and in nearly all people in society. Even well meaning and otherwise progressive people can and are misogynist. Even your family and friends are. Its impossible to simply change one thing. It requires a society wide change in tolerance for bigotry.

    • SwingingTheLamp@midwest.social
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      1 year ago

      Have you ever heard of “two for flinching”? That was (I hope) a thing back in my school days, whereby another boy would mime a physical attack, like a punch to the face, or body slam. When you instinctually recoiled, the other boy would delightedly proclaim, “two for flinching,” and punch you hard in the arm, twice. The message was clear.

      Men as a class certainly do get policed by boys, girls, and adults about affect, height, weight, voice change, et cetera. I say this not to dismiss or downplay what girls experience, but to say that certainly happens. In fact, I’m certain that it’s two sides of the same coin, and it all needs to go away.

      • LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        1 year ago

        No, the ruling class of men is not made to suffer as a class of men. There is no power structure against men.

        My other comments more than explain it.

    • CorruptBuddha@lemmy.ca
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      1 year ago

      But men aren’t (as an entire class of people) getting harassed as 10 year olds by 40 year old men making comments about their bodies. Men aren’t (as an entire class of people) having relatives make open comments about the size of their secondary sex characteristics and their bodies in general

      /*Pokes circumcised dick.

      /*Looks at the countless men living their lives recieving no emotional support.

      /*Looks at male suicide rates.

      /*Looks at male domestic abuse rates.

      /*Looks at history of men getting lynched.

      /*Looks at what happens when a man wears a bun, has long hair, has piercings, has any sort of distinguishing features.

      /*Looks at classic stereotypes of “fat stupid man”

      /*Looks at people casually calling men fat.

      /*Looks at stats showing men are more then twice as likely to face assault in public, are twice as likely to experience assault causing bodily injuries, are twice as likely recieve major injuries…

      Like how you can look at the male suicide rates and just “nah there’s nothing deeper here” is beyond me.

      • LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        1 year ago

        I never said that men do not suffer in any way, I said that women’s body image issues are systemic ones that affect us for all our lives and from nearly everyone in our lives. It happens to every woman. Men’s body image issues are not systemic ones. Body shaming is a thing, but its not a social institution to severely sexually harass and assault men and boys. Almost every woman will experience sexual harassment and assault to some degree. It affects the entire class of women.

        • CorruptBuddha@lemmy.ca
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          1 year ago

          So a bunch of men experience the same thing completely independently from each other, and you’re here just assuming there aren’t systemic processes at play? Like do you just think men have some biological affinity for suits and ties? or Jeans and T-shirts? Or it’s just a coincidence or what? Like we live in a world of cause and effect, everything you see in society is a matter of systemic influences.

          • LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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            1 year ago

            There are systemic problems for men as well. This conversation has gone largely beyond its scope, that being the way that body image issues for women are unique and particularly abhorrent. Misogyny is a system that also affects the lives of men by devaluing specific activities, clothes, opinions, personality traits etc. that society associates with women and girls. It reinforces misogynistic principles and affects the lives of women too. Men should be allowed to dress how they want to (so should women), work what jobs they want to, present themselves however they want to, and so on. All those things also affect women and the majority of them are based around discrimination towards women. “Pink is girly and therefore boys shouldn’t like pink” only functions if you think that being girly is bad or worse or lesser.

            But there’s lots of systemic issues in society. Misogyny affects the entire class of women directly and the entire class of men indirectly. There are other systems that devalue men such the prison industrial complex, the military industrial complex, rape culture that discourages male victims from coming forward, and the wage slavery of late stage capitalism. Those things also affect women. And intersectional feminism examines the way that those systems interact and build upon one another. Misogyny is one of the most abhorrent things man has ever created, and me and all my friends live with and struggle against misogyny every single day. I think the scale of the problem is hard to understand if you don’t talk to a lot of women about their struggles. And when we do speak up more often than not we’re barely acknowledged at all, look at the backlash to misogyny in video games or the backlash to the epidemic of rape on college campuses. Those problems have never adequately been addressed in any capacity. When its women’s issues a quarter of society listens and cares enough to acknowledge the problems we face, half of society is ambivalent and does not react at all, and the remaining quarter actively believe in misogyny.

                  • LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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                    1 year ago

                    A hypothetical system of discrimination against directly and specifically men. I do not agree that this system exists. Our ruling class is patriarchal and men hold significantly disproportionate amounts of power in society. There is no system of discrimination that affects all men as a class. There exists biases and discrimination against men, but nothing that does so using the structure of a system and through institutional power.

      • LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        1 year ago

        That phrase is meaningless lol, what part of my comment are you saying that to? The horrifying things that women experience every single day? Is the lived experiences of women and girls “oppression olympics” to you?

        • Aesthesiaphilia@kbin.social
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          1 year ago

          Is the lived experiences of women and girls “oppression olympics” to you?

          Yes! Literally yes! You’re close to getting it!

          “Women have it worse” is participating in oppression Olympics and it’s belittling men’s problems. I am not disputing the facts of how bad women have it. I don’t think anyone in this thread is.

          I’m saying it’s irrelevant to the conversation at hand, and at BEST it’s a distraction.

          • LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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            1 year ago

            This isn’t a men’s space. This is a public forum. I’m allowed to respond to anti feminism here and I will. That’s your own problem if you do not like it. And you’re openly using anti feminist nonsense yourself, shocking you didn’t like my initial comment.

            • Aesthesiaphilia@kbin.social
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              1 year ago

              True, you’re allowed to come in here and pick a fight if you want to but I don’t see why you would want to.

              • LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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                1 year ago

                I’m not picking a fight. I have been patient and fair in all my responses. I’ve already said this many times, but people were already talking about the way women suffer from body policing when I first viewed this post.

                  • LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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                    1 year ago

                    My first comment was that men do not experience body policing the same ways women do. That if you disagree you probably don’t understand misogyny. I never said that men’s issues don’t matter.

      • ParsnipWitch@feddit.de
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        1 year ago

        So you mean, this meme should piss off? Because it is what started the oppression olympics.

        • Aesthesiaphilia@kbin.social
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          1 year ago

          Only if you read it as “women’s issues don’t matter because men also have issues” which is honestly a problematic place for your mind to go. And clearly not the intent.

          • Nataratata@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            I am pretty sure that’s the punchline of the meme. “Women say they are unrealistically portraited in media, but look at how men are shown!”. That’s the oppresion olympics you pretend to be against, is it not?