• GreenMario@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    13
    arrow-down
    22
    ·
    1 year ago

    Sure but it’s always good to keep a backup/bug out plan.

    I would absolutely keep enough money set aside to at least get an apartment and furnish the necessities immediately. That’s smart.

    • divineslayer@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      41
      arrow-down
      4
      ·
      1 year ago

      Then find a partner who is okay with having separate bank accounts that you can keep your own money in. It doesn’t have to be a secret.

      • GreenMario@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        7
        arrow-down
        26
        ·
        1 year ago

        Right, so they can use the law against you and take it from you? Threaten you with violence until you give it?

        Man y’all are very trusting lol

        • Sentau@feddit.de
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          22
          arrow-down
          4
          ·
          1 year ago

          Why be in a relationship if you can’t trust people at all. Better be alone then.

          • SARGEx117@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            11
            arrow-down
            2
            ·
            1 year ago

            Like… Legitimately I’d rather be single and never worry about it, rather than be that terrified of something like that.

            Can it happen? Absolutely. I can name two people I know personally it happened to.

            But to just assume that everyone is like that, and that the person you place your trust in will betray said trust and to think otherwise is stupid… Like… Just stay single then and stop trying to make other people as miserable as you?

            I trust my wife, and I trust our separate bank accounts. If I need something, she sends it. If she needs something, I send it. My parents have their own accounts, as well as a joint account. They set all three up at the same time when they moved to the state.

            Someone who mistrusts every single person to that degree, including their own spouse, is in need of therapy, because something needs to be worked out. And therapy works.

            • Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              2
              arrow-down
              1
              ·
              1 year ago

              Therapy costs money too and she will need it when she is fleeing the abuse. Having a cash stash just in case, that’s not big enough to be illegal or “hiding assets” but is enough to walk out the first time he hits her, instead of getting trapped into a cycle of abuse that leads to her death, is prudent for any woman. You’re definitely speaking from a man’s lived experience but just because you’ve never been made aware of it doesn’t mean it’s not all around you. Women literally put their life on the line in most heterosexual relationships. The person most likely to harm or kill a woman is not a stranger but her husband or boyfriend. And it’s often the man who most vehemently argues against the idea, and says the woman is doing something wrong by hiding money, that she’s not trusting enough or wanting to cheat, who will violently turn on her in rage one day for those same imagined affronts to his ownership of her. Which he’ll deny right up to, and even after he does it. You want loyal, get a dog. Having a chance to escape is what makes staying a free choice.

            • Kedly@lemm.ee
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              5
              arrow-down
              1
              ·
              1 year ago

              Thats what you can structure your seperate solo account that only you have access to to be then.

        • Kedly@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          6
          arrow-down
          3
          ·
          1 year ago

          Dont get married then. Seriously. That level of background distrust is toxic to a relationship. Understandable? Sure. Healthy to act on? No

    • Jax@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      9
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      You are correct, that is smart.

      Too bad financial intelligence isn’t the only factor at play when it comes to a relationship.

    • nickwitha_k (he/him)@lemmy.sdf.org
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      1 year ago

      I would absolutely keep enough money set aside to at least get an apartment and furnish the necessities immediately. That’s smart.

      That’s a lot of money in modern times.