Who here is parenting an ND child?
Has finding out their diagnosis also led to you or their other parent to a late diagnosis?
Any resources you’d like to share with the community?
Who here is parenting an ND child?
Has finding out their diagnosis also led to you or their other parent to a late diagnosis?
Any resources you’d like to share with the community?
@TechyDad
It’s profound, realising that you’re autistic .
I wonder why some of us find it so traumatic, and others so liberating?
Maybe it’s to do with how it happens. For me, I came to this self discovery after struggling with severe mental health problems that didn’t seem to have any explanation.
Realising I’m autistic was an incredible release from self blame.
I think there’s a unique journey for parents of autistic children, though. And not an easy one.
Be kind and patient with yourself.
@neamhsplach
@Zumbador @TechyDad @neamhsplach A lot of it may boil down to this:
Was #ActuallyAutistic a label chosen *by* you, as a result of accurate and compassionately-communicated information?
Or was it chosen *for* you, by people who were more interested in trying to “solve the problem” that is you, and are ultimately not motivated by acting for your own well-being?
(I spent most of my life in the second camp, and even on the best days, the term “autistic” is emotionally fraught for me.)
For me, it was traumatic in the short term, but liberating in the long term and I chose it for myself.
In the short term, it was traumatic because it meant everything I thought I knew about myself was wrong. When you get to your 30’s, you have a pretty set in stone view of who you are and why you do things. Realizing that I’m autistic shattered that self view. Suddenly, reasons why I thought I did many things were wrong and were replaced by other reasons.
This was traumatic, but I eventually (over a few months) rebuilt my sense of self to include autism. This rebuilt sense of self was stronger than before. Thus, the short term trauma led to longer term benefits for me.
Would I want to go through this sense of self shattering again? No, but I’m glad I went through it then.
@dpnash
Very true. And definitely something late realised autistic people are often not aware of.
But I meant to ask a different question, which is why people in the first group (realising they’re autistic vs having been diagnosed by someone else ) sometimes have such different experiences.
@TechyDad @neamhsplach
@Zumbador @dpnash @TechyDad @neamhsplach@beehaw. org
Perhaps it’s as simple as, did you come to realise you were autistic because you were searching for an answer. And whilst autism might not be the one you wanted it is still a relief to have one. Or, was the realisation thrust upon you, perhaps by seeing yourself in your child. In which case you’re having to deal with something unsought for.