What’s everybody got against the Jewish Space Lasers? Rabbi Rabinowitz has been in charge of those lasers since 1998, and he’s been doing a damn fine job keeping the Martians and asteroids at bay! You know he’s only come down from Skylab II twice since he took the director’s position up there? You know what that much zero gravity does to a man? He’s been up there so long, he can’t come back anymore. He’s gonna die up there manning those lasers. That’s what Rabbi Rabinowitz has sacrificed for his country and planet! And the gall of some people, ranting about the Jewish space lasers. Are there Jewish space lasers? Yes! And they’ve been keeping your dumb ass safe from Martians and meteors for decades!
[In my head, I read this in Bernie Sander’s voice.]
Yeah, I’ve used the name before in a similar tale. It just really tickles me to think that there in fact ARE Jewish space lasers, and there’s a brave group of rabbis up on a space station keeping the planet safe from extraterrestrial threats. And “Rabbi Rabinowitz” is one of the most ridiculously over-the-top Jewish names I can think of. And instead of nefarious conspiracies, it’s very fun to just be like, “what do you have against the Jewish space lasers?! How dare you insult the good work of the great Rabbi Rabinowitz! You ungrateful bastard. He’s given his life to save you!!”
What’s everybody got against the Jewish Space Lasers? Rabbi Rabinowitz has been in charge of those lasers since 1998, and he’s been doing a damn fine job keeping the Martians and asteroids at bay! You know he’s only come down from Skylab II twice since he took the director’s position up there? You know what that much zero gravity does to a man? He’s been up there so long, he can’t come back anymore. He’s gonna die up there manning those lasers. That’s what Rabbi Rabinowitz has sacrificed for his country and planet! And the gall of some people, ranting about the Jewish space lasers. Are there Jewish space lasers? Yes! And they’ve been keeping your dumb ass safe from Martians and meteors for decades!
[In my head, I read this in Bernie Sander’s voice.]
Lol rabinowicz is Slavic for son of the rabbi so “rabbi rabinowitz” sounds like a character from a Bourekas comedy
Yeah, I’ve used the name before in a similar tale. It just really tickles me to think that there in fact ARE Jewish space lasers, and there’s a brave group of rabbis up on a space station keeping the planet safe from extraterrestrial threats. And “Rabbi Rabinowitz” is one of the most ridiculously over-the-top Jewish names I can think of. And instead of nefarious conspiracies, it’s very fun to just be like, “what do you have against the Jewish space lasers?! How dare you insult the good work of the great Rabbi Rabinowitz! You ungrateful bastard. He’s given his life to save you!!”
I mean, it’s quite clear that there are Jewish space lasers, I saw them in this documentary many years ago