I haven’t spoken to my father in almost two years, and it’s been a painful and complicated journey. One of the pivotal moments for me was on my wedding day. I didn’t receive any message from him—not even a simple acknowledgment. I had hoped to hear from him, and his silence cut deeply, making me realize how distant we had become.

I feel a lot of anger and sadness because it seems like we will never have the relationship I’ve always wanted. I long for a connection where he takes interest in my life and my choices, even when they differ from his own. Instead, I often feel dismissed or disregarded, especially when it comes to my boundaries. For example, whenever politics comes up, I feel disrespected because he tends to push against the limits I’ve tried to set.

There’s also a significant element of fear in our dynamic. I worry that if I attempt to rebuild our relationship, he might use his financial resources as a means of control over me and my family. This fear makes it hard for me to see a path forward that feels safe and genuine.

Right now, I’m in a space where I’m trying to determine IF or how I want to re-establish any sort of relationship with him. I want to find out if it’s possible for us to interact in a way that respects each other’s boundaries, takes a real interest in one another’s lives, and supports each other’s choices—even when we disagree. It’s a difficult and ongoing process, but I’m trying to be honest with myself about what I need and what I’m willing to work towards.

  • GrayBackgroundMusic@lemm.ee
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    1 day ago

    Why would you want to fix it if he constantly pushes your boundaries purposely?

    I’m not OP, but I have similar issues. I ask myself this CONSTANTLY. There’s a part of me that is a hole that a proper, good father could fill. Obviously, I don’t have that and he never will, but I still crave it. Imagine being hungry and there’s the best food on the other side of the window and you can never have any. You’re still hungry and there’s a part of you that is pressing against that window, even though another part of you knows you can’t get into the store.