They even went so far as to shut down the access for the public, since he is a known sex offender!
I thought it was a make-a-wish thing. To experience how plebs work.
Wish.com Ronald McDonald.
Donald McRonald.
Donald McRonald
😘
They should hire him full time. Just don’t let him slack off on his phone. He is not responsible enough.
You know it just fucked that up, too. Trump isn’t even a quality candidate for employment at a fast food restaurant. Of course he should never be president. Not again, anyway.
He’s not qualified to tie his shoes without adult supervision.
Do you think washing your hands matters when you smell that bad?
I miss when the onion made satire.
The problem with doing satire is that our world is crazier than fiction. And I’ll tell you why:
Ages ago, the Mayans predicted the end of the world would happen in the year 2012. Except that wasn’t exactly right; what they discovered was that the year 2012 marked the end of an era. What they had stumbled onto was a date in the source code of our universe, indicating when this grand experiment would end, and the grad students running this simulation of a universe would need to turn in their research. But instead of concluding the simulation and turning it off, (this is where my conjecture begins) one of the grad students was kicked out of their program for unethical behavior; creating life then abandoning it to have a wicked kegger roughly 2000 of our simulated years ago. Now our simulation is running unattended past its natural expiration date and things are going out of bounds of its operating parameters, and will continue to do so until the coming of the Janitor, who will unplug our simulation and bring the suffering of our universe to an end.
Whether this is gospel, heresy, or just the mad ramblings of an overworked and understimulated person looking to get a few tokens of serotonin by writing a nonsensical comment on an internet forum, I leave for you to decide.
I like the comment though. Even if it’s “mad ramblings”, I think it’s entertaining ramblings.
Signed, another understimulated and overworked person looking to get a few tokens of serotonin
This isn’t the onion, just another satire site. It made me chuckle.
Eh, close enough.
felons need to work too
well, not this felon, but the headline is still needlessly shitty to convicted felons who’ve served their sentences and need to work
fdt tho, all the same.
I’m a little surprised they wanted their brand involved in this
He’s the same color as their orange soda. Maybe they’re trying to challenge Gatorade?
Can I just say “Fuck McDonalds”? Fuck em.
McDonalds soon:
I thought that maybe the guy that plays Ronald had died and they were just auditioning for a new makeup-clad clown.
