• runjun@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    A beautiful arrest. Some people are saying it’s the most, you know my uncle is cop, and he says, he’s a decorated cop, he said to me at the White House, the now stolen White House, the huge steal, he says it’s just beautiful. You know they took my measurements… just perfect, everyone’s saying it, a man’s man. 6’3” 215. Just imagine that. The law man, gotta love them, said I was in the best shape he’s ever seen.

    • I'm back on my BS 🤪@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      You know they took my measurements

      Achshually, they didn’t. According to ABC Live, they sent in the measurements for a speedier booking process because you know measuring height and weight can take upto a full minute.

      • runjun@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        Look, folks, I’ve always been the most honest guy you’ve ever seen, believe me. They measured my height, which is a tremendous height, by the way, very impressive. People say I’m the tallest, and they measured my weight, which is perfect, just perfect. Nobody has a better weight than me, it’s tremendous. But you know, the fake news, they’re always spreading lies. They say, “Oh, he’s not that tall, oh, he weighs more.” Total lies, folks. They’re just jealous of my incredible measurements. So let me tell you, I’ve got the best height and weight, and nobody can dispute that.