• Tedesche@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    As a person born many years after the first moon landing, I always thought it was fucking ridiculous that we managed to put a machine on a celestial body thousands of miles away from our fucking planet. That puts our species’ relative IQ compared to other species at 100,000. Back in the Stone Age, our peak achievements were running a long time and throwing objects accurately and at high speed, which allowed us to pwn just about everybody else. Now we’re using chemistry and engineering to produce rockets that can move complex objects off the fucking planet to a spheroid object we can see in the sky. Like, what the actual fuck?

    Due to sociopolitical issues, I have a fairly negative view of our species these days. But when you look at our technological achievements, you have to sit back and just stare in awe at what we’ve been able to accomplish. We’re homo sapiens, fuck you. Our closest relatives (chimps) are four times as strong as us, fuck them, we experiment on you to learn about ourselves. Elephants, dolphins, crows, and orangutans trail us in intelligence, LMAOROLF, keep playing with them mirrors we gave you. We are so fucking OP we domesticated cows so hard their anal gas is a threat to the fucking planet. We’ve genetically engineered dogs into the most prolific and diverse species on Earth, and other animals actively seek us out sometimes, because they’re like “holy shit, humans do magic, maybe they can get this weird plastic shit off my ass,” and we invented that plastic and put it there in the first place. We are the fucking bomb, for better or worse. Nothing compares to us. We are functionally gods, fuck you.

    For many reasons, humans suck, fuck us. But god damn, you better fucking respect.

    • 800XL@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      This is beautiful. An emotional rollercoaster from beginning to end that at no point did I know what was in store for me as a humble lemmy member and fellow homosapien.

    • wrath-sedan@kbin.social
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      1 year ago

      I had to look this up to make sure it wasn’t copypasta. It is so eloquently unhinged. Bravo.

      • DriftingDeep@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        It should be. I mean, god damn! It’s beautiful!

        Just like your mom, it should be spread far and wide.

              • DriftingDeep@lemm.ee
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                1 year ago

                Is it not? There are 2 ways I could’ve intended. There’s the serious use, where I think the joke is actually (unironically) funny, or there’s ironic use, where I don’t think the joke itself is funny, but the use of something generally agreed upon as unfunny is itself its own joke.

                I’m genuinely not trying to be overly pedantic here, and I may not be funny, but I’m fairly certain my use of “irony” was correct.

                • stevedidWHAT@lemmy.world
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                  1 year ago

                  Ah I see what you mean now, I hadn’t read the sarcasm in the original post so I was rather dubious of that claim haha

    • grue@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Back in the Stone Age, our peak achievements were… throwing objects accurately and at high speed

      I mean, that’s all a rocket launch is if you get right down to it… \s