So I was recently diagnosed with polycythemia and the doctors words were literally "holy fuck! They didn’t tell you this 7 years ago???
I’m having a very hard time right now because people with this condition are expected to only survive 20 years after the diagnoses. Meaning I have less than 15 years to live. I’ll never see my child graduate high school. I’ll never see them get married. I’ll never get to meet my grandchildren… this sucks. I’m so terrified right now. What am I supposed to tell my wife? What am I supposed to tell my parents? I’m going to die before all of them? How did I upset the universe to deserve this? I’m so scared and I don’t know what to do. L
Statistically people get 30000 days give or take a few thousand. Sometimes its a lot less. It’s our nature to make plans for our future but none of us is promised a tomorrow. All any of us know is that we have today. It sucks to get news like that just like it would suck to have a fatal heart attack at 40 or be hit by a drunk driver at 20 or be the unlucky victim of whatever tragedy. I lost a cousin when he was 9. Fair is not a property of the universe. Spending the time you are here fretting over knowing it’s going to end is pointless.
Practical steps. Talk to more doctors. Sure there are treatments to give you a chance at the longer time range. Talk to a therapist. Most of us get to ease into a mid-life crisis. You get to do the speedrun. Don’t put more importance the things you hoped to have in the nebulous future than the things you have today.