• Bleeping Lobster@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I don’t think it’s possible to ‘become gay’ save through some sort of change to the brain eg head injury as described below.

    If you’re straight, flip the question, when did you choose to be straight? Of course, unless you’re in the closet, you never chose that, it’s just the way you are wired.

    • ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca
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      1 year ago

      flip the question

      This. Belive me. If it was possible for gay people to “become straight” they abso-fucking-lutely would. The reason why they don’t is because it’s impossible.

      • Kerfuffle@sh.itjust.works
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        1 year ago

        If it was possible for gay people to “become straight” they abso-fucking-lutely would. The reason why they don’t is because it’s impossible.

        I don’t doubt that some would, but I’d actually be surprised if it was the majority. A lot of people see their sexuality as an important part of their identity and wouldn’t just give it up like that, even if doing so would make their lives easier.

      • Lumberjacked@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        I was talking to a gay family married who was married to opposite gender for 20 years and had a family before coming out. We both grew up in a world that said homosexuality was a choice.

        He said he “chose to be straight” for 20+ years and it almost killed him and ruined the lives of others.

    • Dandroid@dandroid.app
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      1 year ago

      I actually knew someone who “chose” to be gay one day. She was SA’d by a man and decided that she could never trust men again. So I wouldn’t say it never happens or that it’s impossible. It’s just not the norm. People are complex, and there are so many of us that even things that have a 0.000000001% chance of happening will happen to about 8 of us.

      Now that said, I suspect that this person in particular has always has been bisexual, but chose to not be with women before her incident and chose to only be with women after her incident. I lost contact with her about 15 years ago, so I can’t really get an update on her.

      • Bleeping Lobster@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Sorry but your suspicions are correct. Your friend is clearly bi, and choosing not to be with men. That’s not ‘turning gay’, that’s just being selective who you sleep with. Is a monk ‘turning gay’ when he decides to take a vow of celibacy and not sleep with any women?

        There’s an interesting stat which I can’t remember exactly, but a high proportion of female strippers ‘become lesbian’… this is because women are more likely to express bisexuality (background rate is the same as men, but it’s far less socially-acceptable for men to express bisexuality so the apparent rate is lower), so after given a crash course in how gross a certain category of men are, they (understandably) write the rest of them off and stick to women.