1. 📰 UNPRECEDENTED: Aging boomer retires to free up job for someone younger (direct link) (👍1347 👎28)

from The Onion ([email protected])

UNPRECEDENTED: Aging boomer retires to free up job for someone younger

Joe Biden announced today that he would be stepping out of the presidential race, making it the first time in recorded history that an ageing boomer has ever retired in order to let a younger person take their job. Biden’s wife Jill expressed her role in her husband’s decision to free up the presidency to someone who hadn’t voted for Abraham Lincoln.

Posted by DxK

2. 📰 Disability campaigner unable to collect award on stage due to no ramp (direct link) (👍923 👎6)

from Not The Onion ([email protected])

Freedom of City award winner criticises disability access

‘I was given Freedom of City but not freedom of room’ says Anna Landre. She was unable to collect award on stage due to not being offered an accessible ramp. The 25-year-old said what happened “turned an honour into an indignity” The City of London Corporation said it “offered our sincerest apologies”

Posted by Flax_vert

3. 📰 The Associated Press removes a fact-check claiming JD Vance has not had sex with a couch (direct link) (👍287 👎7)

from And Finally… ([email protected])

The Associated Press removes a fact-check claiming JD Vance has not had sex with a couch

The Associated Press retracted a fact-check about JD Vance’s Hillbilly Elegy. The headline said, “No, JD Vance did not have sex with a couch” As of Thursday morning, the article page displayed a “page unavailable” error message.

Posted by usernamesAreTricky

4. 📰 After Trump assassination attempt, guns will still be allowed near RNC, but tennis balls will not (direct link) (👍160 👎4)

from Weird News - Things that make you go ‘hmmm’ ([email protected])

After Trump assassination attempt, guns will still be allowed near RNC, but tennis balls will not

After Trump assassination attempt, guns will still be allowed near RNC, but tennis balls will not. The situation is facing increased scrutiny following the events of Saturday. Wisconsin is an open-carry state, allowing the public to carry firearms – including assault rifles. State law also prohibits local governments from regulating firearms beyond what the state allows.

Posted by oleorun

5. 📰 Colombia Faces a New Problem: Too Much Cocaine (direct link) (👍80 👎4)

from Strange Times ([email protected])

Colombia Faces a New Problem: Too Much Cocaine

Even as production surges, domestic and foreign shifts in the global drug industry have devastated many poor Colombians whose livelihoods are tied to cocaine.

Posted by Midnight

6. 📰 Trump supporters wear ear bandages as a ‘sign of love’ (direct link) (👍65 👎2)

from Not the Onion ([email protected])

Republicans wear ear bandages in ‘solidarity’ with Trump

Several members of the RNC’s Arizona delegation were spotted helping Trump ‘set a new fashion statement’.

Posted by en1gma

7. 📰 Chicken wings advertised as ‘boneless’ can have bones, Ohio Supreme Court decides (direct link) (👍61 👎1)

from Offbeat ([email protected])

Chicken wings advertised as ‘boneless’ can have bones, Ohio Supreme Court decides

The Ohio Supreme Court says consumers can’t expect boneless chicken wings to actually be free of bones.

Posted by FenrirIII

8. 📰 Woman allegedly used samurai sword to kill wife before having a heart attack (direct link) (👍1 👎0)

from SERIOUS NEWS ONLY ([email protected])

Woman allegedly used samurai sword to kill wife before having a heart attack - LGBTQ Nation

Police arrived to find a bloodied woman carrying the sword in the street.

Posted by jeffw

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