Do you know what a Shit Barometer is? Measures the Shit Pressure in the air. When the Barometer rises, and you’ll feel it too, your ears will implode with the Shit Pressure. I tried to warn you, Bubs, but you picked the wrong side!
Beware, the Shit Winds are a-comin’.

Lot of excrement in the air when you’re a horoscope writer tbh

I feel like this is more about the writer using their autocorrect as the editor and not genuinely proofreading their shit (pun intended).

Changes are happening around you. Shit has hit the fan, there is excrement in the air.

I see you’ve been downtown.

Shit winds, Randers

Well, it was apparently written by Google Gemini, so its understable. At least a human didn’t write it.