Trained pavlovian responses to sensory triggers. If you meditate to the smell of lavender enough times eventually it starts inducing a trance you can use to combat panic attacks. You can also use other smells, sounds, colored lights, textures, etc. It actually works best if you use multiple different senses at a time. The catch is you have to continue meditating to whatever sensory trigger(s) you’ve decided on, and you have to do it more often than you use it to stop anxiety/panic. If you use it a bunch of times when you’re anxious / panicking and don’t keep using those triggers when you’re already calm, eventually the behavioral pathway will flip and the calming trigger will start causing anxiety instead because that’s when you’re doing it most. Ever set your morning alarm to your favorite song (if you haven’t, don’t). Even your favorite song in the world will eventually sour if it’s heard more often interrupting a blissful sleep than being vibed to.
the behavioral pathway will flip and the calming trigger will start causing anxiety instead because that’s when you’re doing it most
You might have no idea, but since you bring it up I might as well ask - any way of reversing this once it’s happened? Recently my stress levels have been so heightened that that switch has flipped on some of the things (and people) that gave me most comfort and instead now they just cause me rage, and I’m struggling to find a way back (am autistic too which I understand can make this even harder)…
So the Dialectal Behavior Therapy (DBT) skill above is called sensory-self-soothe, but it sounds like you might need something more like opposite action. I do recommend you take a breather first, so try to take a little bit of time away from those things entirely. This is to let some of your overall emotional inflammation die back before actually getting to work on this. You’re not gonna get this done right if your emotions haven’t even had a chance to stop getting their ass beat. How much time is gonna depend a lot on how you specifically relate to or need any of those things, but even 15 minutes can make a huge difference, especially if adrenaline/panic juice is involved.
So opposite action means intentionally acting differently than the emotion you are feeling calls you to, with the eventual goal of changing the emotion you are feeling. The worst part is that that’s a legit measurable phenomenon in behavioral psychology; you actually can fake an emotion until you feel it. Your brain will literally be like,"well. I’m smiling. So I guess I’m happy???
-hang on my phone is dying and I really need a keyboard anyway.
Ok, I’ve had a proper read through now, I’ll admit there is a lot to process, but this a lot of sense (and some bits I was already doing without even realising, like trying to get space away from triggers).
I think my situation is tricky because the main person triggering me is my nibling, whose family I live with (I’ve been here since they were born and I’m often left to care for them during the day. Cuddling and playing and just spending hours on the couch watching cartoons with them used to be my escape, but for the past couple of months external stress has gotten worse, and after they “pushed me” on a really bad day and that brain switch has flipped, every time they want to be around me I feel like they’re “pushing me” and fight/flight which is the constant state of my autistic brain anyway, ramps up even more), so I can’t get away from them for any decent length of time, and they’re just a kid and it’s difficult to explain my growing boundaries (every time one gets crossed, by “hostile” or “friendly”, rationally I can tell the difference but irrationally they both have the same impact - a stricter boundary can’t help but pop up in its place, in self defence) and why I need them to stay away from me (or, if they keep “pushing”, why I’m suddenly horrible to them even though they don’t deserve it).
I don’t want to push them away, I rationally know they mean no harm and just want to give and be given love, but I also just need my boundaries respected.
The one thing I have avoided doing is reminiscing about good times because it makes me too upset that I’ve gone from that to this and I spiral in to a really dark place, but I do see how it might help, so I’m going to try my best to try it. I think some of the other advice is a little tricky for someone with sensory processing difficulties though).
Anyway, I won’t ramble any longer, thank you again, I’ve not actually talked about this to anyone else, and I feel like this exchange is a good first step to at least try and fix things.
I do wish I could find a descent therapist though… -_-
Wow, I wasn’t really expecting a reply, never mind something this through!
It’s past 2am here, so my brain can’t take it all in right now, so I’ll give it a proper read tomorrow when I can better process it and reply accordingly, but I just wanted to say I really appreciate your effort, thank you!
Trained pavlovian responses to sensory triggers. If you meditate to the smell of lavender enough times eventually it starts inducing a trance you can use to combat panic attacks. You can also use other smells, sounds, colored lights, textures, etc. It actually works best if you use multiple different senses at a time. The catch is you have to continue meditating to whatever sensory trigger(s) you’ve decided on, and you have to do it more often than you use it to stop anxiety/panic. If you use it a bunch of times when you’re anxious / panicking and don’t keep using those triggers when you’re already calm, eventually the behavioral pathway will flip and the calming trigger will start causing anxiety instead because that’s when you’re doing it most. Ever set your morning alarm to your favorite song (if you haven’t, don’t). Even your favorite song in the world will eventually sour if it’s heard more often interrupting a blissful sleep than being vibed to.
You might have no idea, but since you bring it up I might as well ask - any way of reversing this once it’s happened? Recently my stress levels have been so heightened that that switch has flipped on some of the things (and people) that gave me most comfort and instead now they just cause me rage, and I’m struggling to find a way back (am autistic too which I understand can make this even harder)…
So the Dialectal Behavior Therapy (DBT) skill above is called sensory-self-soothe, but it sounds like you might need something more like opposite action. I do recommend you take a breather first, so try to take a little bit of time away from those things entirely. This is to let some of your overall emotional inflammation die back before actually getting to work on this. You’re not gonna get this done right if your emotions haven’t even had a chance to stop getting their ass beat. How much time is gonna depend a lot on how you specifically relate to or need any of those things, but even 15 minutes can make a huge difference, especially if adrenaline/panic juice is involved.
So opposite action means intentionally acting differently than the emotion you are feeling calls you to, with the eventual goal of changing the emotion you are feeling. The worst part is that that’s a legit measurable phenomenon in behavioral psychology; you actually can fake an emotion until you feel it. Your brain will literally be like,"well. I’m smiling. So I guess I’m happy???
-hang on my phone is dying and I really need a keyboard anyway.
Ok, I’ve had a proper read through now, I’ll admit there is a lot to process, but this a lot of sense (and some bits I was already doing without even realising, like trying to get space away from triggers).
I think my situation is tricky because the main person triggering me is my nibling, whose family I live with (I’ve been here since they were born and I’m often left to care for them during the day. Cuddling and playing and just spending hours on the couch watching cartoons with them used to be my escape, but for the past couple of months external stress has gotten worse, and after they “pushed me” on a really bad day and that brain switch has flipped, every time they want to be around me I feel like they’re “pushing me” and fight/flight which is the constant state of my autistic brain anyway, ramps up even more), so I can’t get away from them for any decent length of time, and they’re just a kid and it’s difficult to explain my growing boundaries (every time one gets crossed, by “hostile” or “friendly”, rationally I can tell the difference but irrationally they both have the same impact - a stricter boundary can’t help but pop up in its place, in self defence) and why I need them to stay away from me (or, if they keep “pushing”, why I’m suddenly horrible to them even though they don’t deserve it).
I don’t want to push them away, I rationally know they mean no harm and just want to give and be given love, but I also just need my boundaries respected.
The one thing I have avoided doing is reminiscing about good times because it makes me too upset that I’ve gone from that to this and I spiral in to a really dark place, but I do see how it might help, so I’m going to try my best to try it. I think some of the other advice is a little tricky for someone with sensory processing difficulties though).
Anyway, I won’t ramble any longer, thank you again, I’ve not actually talked about this to anyone else, and I feel like this exchange is a good first step to at least try and fix things.
I do wish I could find a descent therapist though… -_-
Wow, I wasn’t really expecting a reply, never mind something this through!
It’s past 2am here, so my brain can’t take it all in right now, so I’ll give it a proper read tomorrow when I can better process it and reply accordingly, but I just wanted to say I really appreciate your effort, thank you!
I was in the mood, lol. lmk if it helps.