I can’t speak for other kids, but being honest with mine seems to work pretty well. “Why do I have to put away the dishes?” “Because if you don’t, we won’t be able to wash the dirty ones and then we’ll get roaches. Do you want roaches? No. So put away the dishes.”
Yeah, that’s the tack I’m taking with mine. No sense in lying because it’s not good for your relationship, and I can’t be bothered to keep track of a bunch of lies.
In their house, my sister is already using the threat of Christmas big brother against any minor hijinks that their kid gets up to.
Oof, that seems a bit much to me. Does she tell stories about the bogeymen or Baba Yaga, too? I’d rather my child be concerned with the actual consequences for their actions rather than the imagined ones
There’s some research that says Santa, the Easter bunny, etc. are good for teaching kids skepticism. Plus it’s fun. I’ll often move their stuffed animals so it looks like they were doing something when the kids are asleep so they can get a little bit of magic
But, threatening with Santa is actually bad parenting because #1 it’s a bit traumatic of a threat but #2 they’ll figure out damn fast that you’re bluffing. Never threaten a punishment you aren’t prepared to dish out (and never dish out a punishment you wouldn’t feel comfortable explaining to the kid as an adult)
Not at all, but I’m also not stumped by having the sink full so much that I’m literally not capable of washing the dishes lmao. A kid might believe that since kids are fucking idiots but not an adult, surely
I’m not sure if the term “gaslighting” fits here. This just seems like run of the mill lying and manipulating.
Victims of gaslighting are deliberately and systematically fed false information that leads them to question what they know to be true, often about themselves. They may end up doubting their memory, their perception, and even their sanity.
Gaslighting would seem like it’d be more that if they knew weekends were a thing befohand then you’d lie that they imagined it all (and that they might even be crazy for having thought that).
Young kids are extremely receptive to self-fullfilling prophecies, and very flexible. If they hate school, it’s better to find out why and try to see if you can get them to like school. You can kinda trick them by trying to associate school with fun, talk about how much you enjoyed school as a kid, and try to get them to talk about things they did that they liked at school. Or the flip side is maybe you’ll learn that there’s something serious you need to help handle as a parent
Sure, I fantasize about doing this sort of shit with my kid sometimes too.
But you don’t do it.
What, are you saying that gaslighting your young child to do stuff they hate is harmful?
I can’t speak for other kids, but being honest with mine seems to work pretty well. “Why do I have to put away the dishes?” “Because if you don’t, we won’t be able to wash the dirty ones and then we’ll get roaches. Do you want roaches? No. So put away the dishes.”
Yeah, that’s the tack I’m taking with mine. No sense in lying because it’s not good for your relationship, and I can’t be bothered to keep track of a bunch of lies.
I didn’t even like doing Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, but my wife insisted. I’m glad that era is over.
Feel you. I got accused by my brother in law of being some kind of psychopath for not wanting Santa in the house.
In their house, my sister is already using the threat of Christmas big brother against any minor hijinks that their kid gets up to.
I have a three year old, so unfortunately, I have another 4 years of this nonsense ahead of me.
Oof, that seems a bit much to me. Does she tell stories about the bogeymen or Baba Yaga, too? I’d rather my child be concerned with the actual consequences for their actions rather than the imagined ones
There’s some research that says Santa, the Easter bunny, etc. are good for teaching kids skepticism. Plus it’s fun. I’ll often move their stuffed animals so it looks like they were doing something when the kids are asleep so they can get a little bit of magic
But, threatening with Santa is actually bad parenting because #1 it’s a bit traumatic of a threat but #2 they’ll figure out damn fast that you’re bluffing. Never threaten a punishment you aren’t prepared to dish out (and never dish out a punishment you wouldn’t feel comfortable explaining to the kid as an adult)
Do you have to be in every single thread picking fights with people over the dumbest shit?
You think I’m picking a fight with @Passerby6497? By saying that I agree with what they’re doing?
But you would still be able to wash the dirty ones. This is just a lighter lie (which imo is totally fine).
Where would I put the dirty dishes so I could wash them if the sink is already full?
How about somewhere else for the moment?? LOL
You must have a large kitchen.
Not at all, but I’m also not stumped by having the sink full so much that I’m literally not capable of washing the dishes lmao. A kid might believe that since kids are fucking idiots but not an adult, surely
Then you must have a large sink or you must wash dishes every single time you eat rather than once a day. We don’t have time for that.
I’m not sure if the term “gaslighting” fits here. This just seems like run of the mill lying and manipulating.
Gaslighting would seem like it’d be more that if they knew weekends were a thing befohand then you’d lie that they imagined it all (and that they might even be crazy for having thought that).
its called a white lie. You tell kids them all the time
Sure… If you want to seriously undermine any trust you’ve built up with your kid when they’re older.
Tell kids the truth when they’re older, but you cant reason with a young kid about everything.
…and then they’ll never trust you fully again. Ever.
This is the most shortsighted shit I’ve seen in a long time.
Young kids are extremely receptive to self-fullfilling prophecies, and very flexible. If they hate school, it’s better to find out why and try to see if you can get them to like school. You can kinda trick them by trying to associate school with fun, talk about how much you enjoyed school as a kid, and try to get them to talk about things they did that they liked at school. Or the flip side is maybe you’ll learn that there’s something serious you need to help handle as a parent
That’s not a white lie. It’s just a lie.